Online Book Launch for Smoky Trudeau

I recently had the opportunity to meet author, Smoky Trudeau. She writes for Vanilla Heart Publishing, and also does some editing for them. She was very, very kind and read the first few chapters of my novel in progress and gave me some valuable feedback. I'm thrilled to say she had only positive things to say about the plot and writing, but I did have some things to be improved regarding style with punctuation and such.

I'm familiar with the AP Stylebook because I was a journalist. I need to become familiar with the Chicago Manual of Style because that's what a fiction writer uses. I intend to purchase a copy of that. I'm also going to get a copy of Smoky's new book, Front-Word, Back-Word, Insight Out.

Smoky taught writing for some years and this is like her workshops in a book. It's full of lessons about writing the novel you've got inside you.

You can attend the online launch party on Sunday, May 18, from 3:00-5:00 p.m. Central Time, at the Forum at www.vanillaheartbooksandauthors.com. There will be prizes and mini-workshops from the book. Barring unforeseen events, I'm planning to attend.

Here's some additional information about the event - anyone is welcome - even if you've never written, but you're thinking about it - you might as well drop in and see if it's for you.

Front-word, Back-word, Insight-Out:

Lessons on Writing the Novel Lurking Inside You from Start to Finish

Every day, people sit down in front of a blank computer screen or piece of paper and start to write their own version of the Great American Novel. Many never get beyond "Once upon a time...."  Their stories remain stuck inside, where only they can hear them. That's because writing a book is easier said than done. Writing a good book is even harder. Why? Because novel writing is a skill that must be learned, just like a nurse must learn to take a patient's blood pressure, a pilot must learn how to fly, and a concert pianist must learn to read music.

Based on her years of teaching writing workshops, author Smoky Trudeau has created a program of step-by-step lessons to teach you how to transform that story stuck inside you into good fiction. You'll learn winning techniques for starting your story and how to decide which character should tell it. You'll gather ideas for writing believable dialogue and developing characters readers will love—and those they'll despise. You'll learn how to build tension, write an exciting climax scene, then gracefully bring your story to an end; and much, much more.

Full of examples and exercises to help you hone your skills, Front-word, Back-word, Insight-Out is the must-read book for anyone who wants to unleash their inner author and free the stories lurking inside.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Marian Madonia

A couple of weeks ago I went to see Marian Madonia speak during a Food for Thought presentation. She gave a speech titled, "Tell Me Something Good" and made some wonderful points, which I'll highlight here.

She said people don't leave their current jobs for more money and opportunity. She said that's what they're going to, not what they're leaving. What they're leaving is the real question.

Another point she made is that we can only control two things - what we think and what we do. Otherwise, we can only influence things.

She said in every situation there are five options: get by, get out, get info, get help or get going.
Her suggestion was to ask "What concerns you about this situation?"

The biggest take-away message for me was when she was giving suggestions for what you could say to someone if you felt under attack. The first one was to say, "you could be right," but what really struck me was in the explanation of that she said to remember, "it's not your job to prove someone wrong." Wow. So simple, but so powerful. And very appropriate for me.

I sometimes have a need to make sure people understand something, even if it's not a right/wrong situation - I want them to understand. How can they make an informed decision if they don't understand everything? That's the same sort of thing. So, I've adapted this to be that it's not my job to make someone understand. Sometimes it would be much simpler to just accept that people don't understand something and let it go. This seems to be especially true when it comes to technology things.

I often seem to be around people who mistakenly view me a technological wizard - that is not true, at all, even though I love technology. I always feel it's my "job" to make people understand something so they can see how beneficial/useful/fun it would be for them. I've decided to adopt this concept that it's not my job to make people understand. I think it will be easier of everyone concerned.

Her secret weapons included saying:
You could be right
You're right
Have you seen the new PT Cruiser (or something else off the wall)
Tell me more
I've never thought about it that way...I'll have to consider it
I need some time to think about that, give me an example

She also said that when you're dealing with people and they're doing something you don't like to remember that they are clueless about that and that it's not about you - it's about them. They're doing what they're doing because it serves them, not because it doesn't serve you. It's not your job to prove them wrong and curiousity is your best secret weapon.

She suggested asking lots of open ended questions. "What" and "how" are the most important of the 5Ws and H. She said to stay away from "why" because it feels like judgment.

Obviously, I came away with some things to think about.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Pond

This pond was part of the scenery around me for a few days recently. I was working on my novel, writing into the wee hours of the night/morning, but I did take time for an occasional walk around the pond.

My novel is going very well. I will be done before the end of the year.

Greg and I went to Roys today and then decided to go get some pie at Fraese afterwards. While we were there, Trish came in to get lunch, so we got to visit with her a bit. She and Greg think I should do some readings from the novel for friends here at home. I don't want people to feel like they're trapped listening to me, but it could be interesting. I'll think more about that.

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Find me Online at Facebook et al

Occasionally someone will ask me about facebook or myspace or something similar. You can always find me there under my own name - patsyterrell. I know - not very inventive, but I just can't keep it all straight - this one personality is enough for me to manage.

The only place I don't use my own name is second life, because they don't give you the option. Of course, I rarely go there, anyway. I'm impressed with the technology and go in occasionally for a specific event, but don't hang out there.

I have patsyterrell at:
facebook
twitter
myspace
pownce
messenger
and other things that don't come to mind at the moment.

However, I must say I probably haven't logged into messenger but twice in the last five years, and that was for specific things, so you're not likely to find me there. However, if you want to chat, just send me an email and we'll find a time to do it. I rarely go into myspace either, but will check it periodically. I check facebook pretty regularly and if I had more reason to go there more often I would (i.e. if more people I knew were using the app.) so that's likely to grow.

So, if you're a user of any of the above, feel free to friend me!
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

California Dreamin in Honduras

As I was driving today I was listening to an NPR podcast about the creation of the song, "California Dreamin'." In the report Susan Stamberg, who has a way with words, says it's, "A song that came from a dream and from longing - the wistful wish to be someplace else."

Whenever I hear "California Dreamin'" I'm reminded of one of those surreal moments that only seem to happen when you're traveling.

We had flown into La Ceiba, Honduras, and began negotiating a price with taxi drivers. Unhappy with the prices, we took off walking toward the main highway a couple of blocks away. We were wearing our backpacks and we each took a handle of the big bag into which we had combined the rest of our things. I could imagine how we looked and even at the time I knew it was one of those moments that will stay with you.

Taxi drivers are much the same around the world, and started coming after us yelling that they would take us into town for the price we wanted. By that time we were both disgusted with them and shooed them away with our hands.

We walked down to the main road and it wasn't 30 seconds until a taxi stopped and took us into downtown for half what we had suggested to the drivers at the airport. He even got out and loaded our luggage into the trunk.

The two of us settled into the back seat - it had been a very long travel day involving multiple flights on a variety of planes in various states of repair. Playing on the radio when we got in was "California Dreamin'." We looked at each other and smiled and agreed that we would never again hear that song without thinking about being in a speeding taxi cab in La Ceiba Honduras.

Sometimes the surreal moments are clear even when they're occurring.

When I heard Stamberg's comment today about it being a song about longing, I was right there again, in that cab, wondering what was next, lamenting that the days of travel were waning, and wishing it could go on and on. Longing for more travel even when I was traveling.

Our time in La Ceiba was very brief - we were just passing through - but that stop-over left us with an indelible memory.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Minge Mansion in Waterville Kansas

Some friends and I were recently in Waterville, Kansas, during Victorian Days and got to tour the Minge mansion. It's absolutely gorgeous with hand painted ceilings accented with hand carved plaster.



The plaster and hand decorated walls in this room coordinated with the stained glass.



I think my favorite ceiling was in the first room as you walked in.



The floors were also incredible.





The owner stripped off multiple layers of paint to reveal beautiful walls and ceilings.



This was in the dining room.



The landing upstairs seemed a lovely place to sit.



Upstairs there was some furniture that really struck me. This bed was covered with a spread Alan Minge's grandmother hand crocheted.



This settee still has the original upholstery.



This was the corner of the ceiling in the master bedroom.



I loved this little chair.



I absolutely loved this house. The restoration work that had been done was extraordinary. Stunning.

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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

T-shirt Wisdom

The other night at Skaets I spotted a girl wearing a T-shirt with this written on the back: "Manhattan Kansas: A town where everyone scores except the basketball team."

That seems a bit harsh toward the team and I'm guessing it doesn't make parents paying for a college education swell with pride either.

Being a University of Kentucky grad I'm able to stay neutral in the whole KU (University of Kansas in Lawrence) vs. KSU (Kansas State University in Manhattan) rivalry. Seems to me it would make sense to support KSU football and KU basketball since that's where they seem to excel. But, hey, I'm not a big sports fan so it's all beyond me.

My beloved UK Wildcats did not have the best season. I was able to enjoy KU's win of the NCAA championship. It was an exciting game. Apparently this young lady was not very happy with KSU's performance however.

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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Three Bean Salad Recipe

I love Three Bean Salad. Frankly, I'm not even sure exactly what my incredible attraction to it is. But, I know it's very easy to make and mighty tasty. What more could you ask from a recipe?

To top it off, it's colorful and travels well. I never eat the raw onions, but I love how they flavor the mix. This recipe has the perfect blend of sweet and sour as far as I'm concerned.

Three Bean Salad

1 can yellow wax beans
1 can green beans
1 can kidney beans
1 onion, thinly sliced
2/3 cup vinegar
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup oil
salt and pepper to taste

Wash off and drain beans, and add onions. Mix sugar, oil and vinegar and pour over. Let sit to meld flavors. Even after a couple of days these do not get so intense you can't eat them like some mixtures do.

You can also add a thinly sliced green pepper if you wish. Unless I have freshly picked green peppers I don't bother as they don't have much flavor unless they're right off the plant.

I sometimes mix a double batch of the dressing, so everything is fully covered from the first moment.



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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

PostSecret

One of my favorite spots online is Postsecret. If you haven't checked it out, do. It's always interesting.

I got to meet Frank, the man behind PostSecret, in 2006. It was one of the highlights of that conference for me and I also got to meet Rosalyn Carter, if that gives you some idea of how much I love PostSecret.

You have to check out the website every week, because he doesn't offer an archive of the secrets. Sometimes he will have the previous week's also viewable.

Of course, he now has books out with secrets in them.

Maybe that's what I need to do - get rid of the blog archive - and publish a book. And after I sell 2-3 copies to my closest friends, and I buy one, the archives would be back.

Happiness by Toe Ring and Foam Foot

Do you ever realize that something in your world is making you happy beyond what is reasonable? I'm having that experience lately with a $1.99 foam foot. I bought it in Gallup, New Mexico a couple of months ago. It's designed for displaying toe rings in stores.

For some reason, as soon as I saw it I wanted one. I have a few toe rings, but probably not enough to fill up the foot. But, it "spoke to me." When you can get something that costs less than two dollars that speaks to you, I say if you have two dollars it's a good way to spend them.

I have to say, it has been a good purchase for me. Whenever I run across another toe ring somewhere in the house I can't wait to stud one of the slits in the foam foot with it.

A few weeks ago I was on prednisone and one night when I looked up the side effects, one of those listed was "inappropriate happiness," which I was certainly experiencing. However, even though the prednisone is long gone, the foam foot is still giving me a great deal of happiness - inappropriate or not.

I figure you might as well take happiness anywhere you can find it and by whatever means possible - foam foot included.

Afghans for Afghans

If you are a knitter or crocheter and want to share your talents in a meaningful way, check out http://www.afghansforafghans.org/. It's an effort to provide blankets and sweaters, vests, hats, mittens, and socks to the people of Afghanistan.

I'm not a talented enough crafts person to do this, but it seems like a great idea.

Pilsen Kansas Church

I took this photo in early April at the Catholic church in Pilsen, Kansas. Sunlight was streaming through the stained glass window and leaving this large statue with a glow.

Pilsen, Kansas is a Bohemian Czech community and the church reflects this in the stained glass and statues it has. I'll be posting more photos eventually.

Rose Bush

I took this photo in June of 2007. This rose bush was a bargain purchased on clearance a couple of years ago and it has become one of my best flowers.

I bought another rose bush this year - a pink one. I'm going to wait to plant it until the middle of the month. I hope it does as well. I planted three year before last that did nothing. Of course, I'm sure that was a problem with the bushes and not me. Right?

You may remember I wrote about pruning this one this spring, before it started getting green. I tried reading online about when to prune and I read everything. So, I decided to just do it and see what happened. Well, I'm happy to report that pruning in the spring, before it gets green, is apparently OK, because it has lots of green leaves all over it now.

Shopping Ain't Like Mama Did It

Some time ago I went out to buy a card for my digital camera. I was at WalMart to get some other things so thought I'd just pick it up there, figuring they'd have a good deal on it anyway.

Well, they did have it. They even had a good deal on it.

The only problem - I couldn't purchase one.

It's a store who's business is to vend products. It seems that the combination of store wanting to sell and customer wanting to buy would be a win-win situation.

But, not so fast. The customer cannot take the tiny little card in its hermetically sealed foot tall plastic package off the peg on which it hangs. It is somehow locked onto the peg. You have to go find an employee with a little widget that opens it up so you can buy the product. Of course, not just any employee who happens to be nearby, but the employee who has the little widget.

Well, I didn't have time to invest in all of this so I thought I'd just go to Office Max a couple of blocks away.

Of course, one can't just purchase products there either. An employee has to go to some inner sanctum and return with the product you've requested. At least it was on sale there.

Is it the customers who steal so much (the Walmart system would lead one to believe) or is it the employees who steal so much (the Office Max system supports this theory)? I realize it's not the fault of employees and I do my best to be pleasant to them.

I just know it makes shopping a huge pain. I just want to buy a freaking product - one you sell - would you please make it possible without involving a half dozen other people?

And they wonder why internet shopping is increasing in popularity...

Tea Lover

I'm not sure exactly when I became a tea lover, but somewhere along the way it happened. Years ago I worked with a woman, Carolyn, who was a devoted tea drinker. It was around the office in the cabinets and so I started partaking every once in awhile. Before I knew it, I had become a tea drinker.

Then I started "going to tea," which is a whole different kind of experience. I absolutely love sharing tea with others.

Of course, tea has a whole assortment of beautiful accessories that go with it. I bought this amazing little set at a Goodwill store in Wichita a year or so ago.

Tea has come to mean a number of different things to me. It speaks to me of "home," not the home in which I grew up, but the home I've made for myself. It reminds me of quiet contemplation. And it can also be a lovely time shared with friends. What else is so versatile?

Politicians and Health Care

OK... let me state for the record I'm a Clinton supporter and I will vote for Clinton or Obama. So, that said...

This morning the news media has suddenly decided to discuss the candidates health care plans. I've look at Obama and Clinton's plans, and I think I like Obama's better, but both are universal.

McCain has been talking about his plan and frankly, it just ticks me off to hear him.. This guy has been an elected representatitve since when? 1982. Let me save you the trouble of looking it up - I already did. He did two terms in the House of Representatives and in 1986 was elected to the senate. And in all of those years he never felt the urge to do something about health care. Suddenly, he's running for president and now he's all concerned about the "American family." Please, give me a break. He's concerned about being president.

Obviously, Hillary is the only one of them that can rightfully claim a long term interest in health care.  But, Obama hasn't been an elected official long enough to have had much of a chance to do anything.

But McCain... please... he's had more than 20 years of solid experience - I'm generously giving him a break for being new and uncertain of things the first 6 years he was in office.

When people start pretending to have a big concern about something they've never noticed in 25 plus years prior I'm more than a little suspicious.

The Boot Hill Saloon and Grill in Vega Texas

I recently had the best meal I have had in years. It was at the Boot Hill Saloon and Grill in Vega, Texas. Vega is not a booming metropolis, but it can boast a fabulous restaurant.You may be wondering how these two things came to be.



Well, thereby hangs a tale.

You may have seen a woman named Rory Schepisi on some reality shows. One was a program where they put some big city folks into a small town to compete for money they would split with a local citizen. That town was Vega. Rory was the runner up. She didn't win anything.

But, proving that people may have chosen the wrong winner, she decided to sell her New Jersey restaurant and move to Vega. She built the Boot Hill Saloon and Grill right on Route 66. It has some wonderful touches, including tin ceiling tiles.



She was later the runner up on the show to choose the next Food Network Star. With her degree from the Culinary Institute of America, she seemed to have a good chance. But, she did not win. Having tasted her food, I can't imagine why not. When we were in Vega she was off filming something for the Discovery Channel. She seems to be a popular gal.

Well, I don't know much about TV shows. But, I know something about food. And I know this is good stuff.



One of the things I judge a restaurant by is its French Onion Soup. I'm not a huge fan of French Onion Soup, but if the broth comes out of a can it tells you something about the place. If it's really cooked stock it tells you something else.

I ordered the soup and a salad. When I tasted the soup I knew I was going to love the salad, and I was right. It was amazing.



Greg had wontons filled with a wonderful mix.



The restaurant itself is also worth a look around. And it's one of those places where you should go to the bathroom. The ladies room has nice decor. The men's room is paneled with old barn wood. Check out this beautiful chair in the ladies room.



This was the best meal I have had in a very long time. I cannot wait to go back. The Boot Hill Saloon and Grill makes Vega Texas a destination.

Confusion

I did my presentation this morning and I'm not thrilled with how it went. I thought it was going fine until the last bit and then we just weren't communicating. I was confused why they seemed confused. Two hours later I realized that what they were saying was NOT what I was hearing. Typical miscommunication. But, it was too late then for me to explain I had misunderstood. Oh well... I'll just have to hope for the best and that they understand I didn't get it at the time. You can't redo a meeting with 15-20 people after you're gone.

I think that's why this sort of thing drives me crazy... you've got a limited amount of time and if you aren't communicating correctly - and don't realize it at the time - it's overwith.

Of course, I've been thinking about it all day. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. 

My Virtual Age is 30.4

Peter Russell is a futurist. This is the same Peter Russell who worked with Tony Buzan who invented the concept of "mind maps." I've also seen mind maps referred to as "clustering" as a writing tip. I find them helpful and don't use the technique often enough.

Russell now has a test on his website that gives you a "virtual age," which indicates your health and vitality. It considers many things in addition to your physical condition.

My virtual age is 30.4. (This may explain why I perpetually feel like I'm 28.) Based on your virtual age, it gives you a life expectancy. My life expectancy is 90.6 years, or 16,300 days. Very interesting.

http://www.peterrussell.com/Odds/RealAge.php

Frankly, I like this more than the actuarial tables, which say I'll live to be 75. I prefer 90, thank you. That is, as long as I can be active and actually LIVING. If I'm just being kept alive in the most technical of senses, and am not enjoying living, then I'd rather be gone.

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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Overdrive

My days and nights have been in overdrive lately - so much going on with work and a ton of personal projects I need to accomplish as well. On Thursday at 11 a.m. I have my United Way presentation. For reasons I can't fully explain, this event just makes me totally anxiety ridden. Your good thoughts are most welcome.

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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Quote of the Day

Maintaining a complicated life is a great way to avoid changing it.                                                                                         ~ Elaine St. James
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Retreat

Soon I will be going to Ohio for an artist's retreat. I am so eager to go. I was fortunate enough to go a couple of years ago and got so much writing done. They have generously offered me a spot again this year and although this is a very, very busy time for me with work I have been cramming as much into each day as possible so I can go to the retreat.

I think many people around me just don't understand my need to be "away" to write. It's because when I'm here there are so many other demands on my time, my brain, my creativity. When my "job" is writing, it will be different. But in the short term, I need to be "away" from the things that demand my energy in order to devote that energy to writing.

I'm blessed to not have any "crazymakers" in my life, to use Julia Cameron's term, so it's no problem for me to focus in that regard. It's about the other things that demand from me.

I recently read a quote by writer Jan Karon, that summed it up. "The business of living interferes with the solitude so needed for any work of the imagination."

I am looking forward to being alone in a little cabin in the woods, focused on writing what's in my imagination.

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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Taking Tea in Waterville Kansas at Victorian Days

We went to tea in Waterville Kansas today. Waterville is a town in north-central Kansas - about 30 miles from the Nebraska border, and about a three hour drive from where I live in Hutchinson. It has some lovely old Victorian homes and every year they have a day of celebration.

Teresa and I drove up and met Susan and Cynthia there. This is the first time I've been able to go to tea there. I've known about it for years but the timing never worked out for me to go.



It was held this year in a former church that is now privately owned and used as a hunting lodge. The gentleman who owns it was very generous in allowing them to use it for the tea. These folks were at the table next to us and I loved that we could see the stained glass in the background.



I have to say the food was very good. It's very good at Arlington, when they do tea, as well. I think I do very good food when I do a tea. However, it's somewhat rare for the food to be really good. It's often mediocre to rather poor. But today's was good.



As always, I want more savories. There were three here - cucumber sandwich, olive roll and a chicken salad with poppy seeds that was excellent.



The tea was nice, but there was no entertainment as part of it. Also, we were very rushed. There is no relaxing at tea. They are very interested in getting you out of the way so they can reset the tables. Not that anyone asked me, but I would suggest fewer seatings, and having more people at each. They could accomplish the same thing that way, but people wouldn't be so rushed.

I didn't drink any tea because I can't have caffeine and there was nothing decaf, but everyone was raving about the almond tea. I noticed some of my tablemates sometimes had empty cups. This is something I desperately try to avoid at my own teas for the MHA.



I've been doing teas for a few years for the MHA now. I learn something every time I do it. You can look at photos from 2006, and 2007. I also love to go to tea anytime I get the chance.

Waterville did a lovely plate, but I didn't get much of an "experience" for my $20 tea ticket. That said, I would go again.

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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Window Workshop Shows How to Repair Old Windows

This afternoon I took time off to attend a window workshop being given as part of the State Historic Preservation Conference being held here in Hutchinson. The workshop was a hands on experience and it was great. Really, really, great.



Left to right, Dennis Brown of Lawrence, Lloyd Armstrong of Armstrong Antiques in Hutchinson who lent his building for our workshop, and Mike Goans of Lawrence.

They applied liquid wood to strengthen it where it had started to rot and break away. Then they used wood epoxy to finish building it out. Cool process.

I was really fortunate that I got to do three different things they demonstrated. I was trying to hold back when they asked for volunteers but it seemed most of the people didn't want to get dirty. So, I got to mix wood epoxy and apply it, and to give window glazing a try. I think I can get that eventually. Greg tried that too.



We both own old houses. This is a skill we need! I especially need it since I had a window pane come out during a big wind storm this winter. Greg helped me do a quick jury rigged fix, because it was way too cold to deal with it then, but this summer I must get it handled. For real. I also have a window that's broken. Fortunately, it's not an old wavy glass one.

Another thing they showed us today was why we want to keep our old growth wood. I just KNEW I didn't want them replacing old wood, but I didn't know why. Now I do. Because when you look at the grain in the old versus the new it's a world of difference. Greg took tons of pix, which I'll hopefully get to share with you later.

I love hands on projects. That's how I learn. Monkey see, Monkey do. Monkey no get it when someone just tells me.

These guys were really good - obviously very good at their jobs.



I went to the banquet tonight, too. We sat with Amy, who we met just recently, and also with Chris from Oklahoma City. He was fun, too. I love getting together with people. I'm sorry I'm going to miss seeing Greg's girlfriend, Mia, when she visits next. I'm going to be out of town. But, it looks like Mark will be down and staying at my house, so that's nice. But, of course, I'll miss seeing him too. I just haven't worked out that being in two places at one time thing yet.

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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

The Brain's Reaction to Crisis

Harriet Brown of Madison, Wisconsin, recently wrote a piece in the New York Times about her two daughters being ill and how it affected her. She writes about how after the danger had passed for them she found herself reacting in ways she couldn't understand.

She wrote, "In times of crisis, the brain goes into protective mode, a kind of extended present tense intended to get you through danger without wasting energy or emotional resources. After all, there is no evolutionary advantage to worrying about the future when the future may never come."

Today was my mother's birthday. Since she died, April 24 has been a day when she's very much on my mind, even though birthdays were never a big deal in my family. Tomorrow was my brother Jim's birthday. I'm guessing April 25 will be a day when I think of him in all my future years. I know I will this year with his death being so recent.

Brown's sentiment here sums up a phenomenon I've noted in myself many times. I'm great in a crisis. Fabulous. But, once the crisis is over I crumble. That's when I fall apart in various ways. It's as if I know I just can't when the crisis is underway, but afterwards I make up for lost time.

When my mother died I went from writing in a journal almost every day to never doing so. In a year I wrote one and a half pages. I knew that writing would bring up emotions I just couldn't indulge. There were things to be handled. But, when April 24 rolled around the next year, almost a year since her death, I fell apart. It was ugly. It took me some time to put myself back together.

I no longer fall apart on April 24. It's more a remembrance now. I know tomorrow that Jim will be on my mind, but I intend to just be thankful for the time I got to spend with him the last couple of years, and not indulge in the sorrow. I don't know if I'll be successful, but that's my plan.

I do have something positive to think about on April 25. Tomorrow is BC's 18th birthday. It's hard to believe he's 18, but he is. I've always adored BC. He's a very charming young man, and always has been. You know how some little kids are just perfectly pleasant? He was one of them, even when he was three years old. He has never lost that. It has just grown with him.

Mark told me recently that when he went to Kentucky for Jim's funeral he had an opportunity to chat with BC for quite a while at the dinner after the funeral and was really impressed with him. He also told me something that made me smile deep inside. He said that when he was watching BC and me talking by ourselves at the end of the day that it seemed we had a special relationship. I asked what he meant and he said, "it just looks like the two of you are in on a joke that nobody else gets."

I guess in some way that's true. I'm still a kid in many ways and so we've always been able to relate to each other on that level. Maybe it's because I'm the only adult around who's not a parent. He's also the only one of my great nieces and nephews I've gotten to be around from birth to adulthood. And, yes, he's officially an adult as of tomorrow. Actually, as I look at the clock now it's midnight so I guess even as I write. He is now old enough to vote. And, unfortunately, old enough to fight.

Well, before I get back into crisis mode with that thought I'm going to close for today. And think good thoughts as I head off to bed.

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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Lawn Mower Shopping

I need to buy a lawn mower. I know, that's an ugly thing to think about. But, I do. I have one I got at a yard sale, but I can't start the thing on my own so it's really of no use to me. I'm going to set it out by the curb with a "free" sign on it and watch it disappear.

I want to get an electric lawn mower. It's more environmentally friendly AND I don't have to put gas in the thing, which means I don't have to carry gas from the station, which happens to be something I absolutely despise doing. So, electric is the way to go.

I have my choices narrowed down to:
Homelite UT13122, which is cordless, and sells for $317 at my local Home Depot store
or
Black and Decker MM875, which is corded, and sells for $229 on Amazon

Now, before you tell me how I should buy local, let me tell you that I can't in this case. Our Lowes store, which sells this product around the country, has decided locally they're not carrying this. As the woman told me last year when I was looking for an electric mower, "Oh, we don't carry those things. Nobody wants them." OK, well, guess what, someone does. Me. So, don't complain when I spend money online to get what I want that you refuse to carry.

I really wanted a cordless mower, but Consumer Reports tells me that cordless ones do not do as good a job as corded ones on thick or taller grass. And, the mower I'm looking at, which is their pick in that category, runs for 40 minutes and then has to charge for 17 hours. I don't think I can mow my lawn in 40 minutes. Maybe if I were running, but what's the likelihood of that? Pretty slim, I can tell you. So, that will mean that mowing will turn into a multiple day job, which is not something I like the idea of.

Of course, lets be realistic, when it's 100 plus degrees I'm not going to mow my lawn anyway, I'm going to hire it done. But, I wouldn't mind mowing it at the beginning and end of the season. And I will pay for that lawn mower pretty quickly, regardless of which one I get.

I'm not very coordinated with those cords, but maybe I'd get better if I were using one all the time.

I'm open to suggestions. If you have thoughts to share I'd love to hear them. I know I'm getting an electric one but beyond that I'm still deciding.