Seeking Zathah

I spent some time today in the Wickliffe, Kentucky cemetery. I have some family buried there and went to check on the graves. After I had done that I decided I would wander around a bit and look for some names that might make good characters in a book. I started snapping photos of tombstones as reminders. I also took some photos of tombstones that were interesting for one reason or another.

As I was driving out of the cemetery I spotted another unusual tombstone and just snapped a photo from the car. Then, a few feet away, I saw the stone below. I took a photo because it was a name I had never seen before. Zathah Lee Glenn. Zathah.



So, tonight I google for Zathah. And I find a geneaology page at http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~modade/martin.htm that says:

Dalmus Clarence Martin was born on 2 Jul 1909 in Prague, Lincoln Co. OK.  He died on 19 Jan 2004 in Salina, Saline Co. KS.  Dalmus married Zathah Glenn Overstreet, daughter of Mac D. Overstreet and Mary Jane Lipe, on 15 Oct 1939 in Hutchinson, Reno Co. KS.  Zathah was born on 14 Jun 1914 in Murphysboro, Jackson Co. IL.  She died on 6 Aug 1990.

From “Kansas Obituaries,” http://homepages.rootsweb.com/
~overstrt/obits/ksobits.html:  Dalmus C. Martin, 94, Salina,(Kansas) died Monday, Jan. 19. (2004) He was born July 2, 1909, in Prague, Okla. He was a chef and restaurant owner for 58 years, retiring in 1985. He and his wife managed the Wareham Coffee shop for many years. He was preceded in death by his wife, Zathah Glenn Overstreet-Martin in August, 1990. . . .”

Okay... am I the only one who thinks it is very weird that I find an odd name in a cemetery in the county I'm from in Kentucky, google for it and the first thing I look at on the web is about a person who got married in the town where I now live, some states away? How many towns are there in the US? And they happen to have a connection to the one town where I live?

There's also a myspace page of someone with that name and they live in Wichita, less than an hour from Hutchinson, where I live. The other reference to the name online is in a cell phone forum. About the phone I carry.

I'm sure there's some mysterious, deep meaning I am supposed to divine from this, but at the moment I'm just struck by the oddness of it all.

Literary Agent Hunt

I've been doing some hunting around for a literary agent. In the process I've discovered a number of agents who blog. These are sometimes quite interesting, if disheartening, to read. The numbers are not in favor of those of us who want to find an agent with whom we can build a career.

The general thrust of the blogs I've seen so far is, "I'm overworked. I'm taking on one out of every 43,012 people who approach me. I'm annoyed by your mere existence."

I can only assume that the perfect match for me is out there and that I will find them.

What do you say after 28 years?

Tonight I had dinner with a friend I haven't seen in probably 28 years, maybe more. I suppose you can rightfully question the word "friend" after this lengthy silence, but I'm not sure what other term to use.

Cathy and I were friends in high school. She was a year ahead of me and after she graduated we drifted apart a bit, and then I went away to school, and you know the story. It has been repeated millions of times and our version is no different. Except that she found me on facebook and we reconnected. Or at least we had dinner.

So, what do you say to someone over barbecued chicken breast and salmon when you haven't talked in 28 years? How exactly do you catch up? Where do you even start that process?

I was thinking on the drive there what I would ask someone that would give me insight into who they are. I ponder this occasionally and, as of yet, I've been unable to come up with the questions that are appropriate to ask in such a circumstance. What I want to know is, "who are you? what do you think about? what do you dream of? where do you want to go? what has touched you? what defines your life? how would you describe yourself without mentioning another person or a profession? how do you move in the world?" I just haven't figured out how to ask people those things. Any one of those questions tends to cause a physical recoiling. I want to know the answers to all of those plus about four dozen more. I have learned through experience that this is overwhelming to people.

I will say the conversation tonight flowed easily, and none of it was rehashing our high school glory days. (Not that I had any glory days then but it seems that "glory" is always supposed to precede "days" in such cases.) I know I've covered my dislike of that rehashing here, so I won't belabor the point.

A lot happens in a life in nearly three decades. It's more than a generation, after all.

It's not my place to tell her story, so I won't, but suffice it to say that tragedy has touched her family's life. The honesty of sharing that is astounding. Tragedy shapes who we are and to enter into a relationship with another person we have to be honest about the forces that act on us. How we react to tragedy speaks volumes about the people we are. Before she told me of this, she told me her family was happy. That is what all of us are seeking, in one way or another. I'm so glad they have found it.

When I was driving home I realized that I shared very little of myself - at least the "self" that I think is the important one. That wasn't intentional on my part, it just happened that way. Maybe the music was too loud or the temperature was too cold or my mind was too occupied with the oddness of seeing someone I hadn't seen in so long. The more obvious answer is that I was reminding myself to not launch into a recitation of the above questions.

We did cover some meaningful topics. The experience caused me to consider how we really do engage with people in different environments. Or at least how I do.

Relationship is more about how we conduct ourselves than about how we say we do. Maybe that's why it's hard to maintain relationships with people when we're not with them on a regular basis. When you interact daily with people it requires a level of honesty unlike anything else, and it's an honesty we have no choice about. What we say is not as meaningful because we're living our lives in front of them. It's impossible to hide our embarrassment, longing and foolishness from those who are witness to it. But, we can build in a buffer zone. Twenty-eight years is a serious buffer zone.

But, Cathy and I both had the courage to come forward and step across it. And it has certainly given me something to think about. The experts say we all like to talk about ourselves, but if that's true, then why do we find it difficult to talk about who we really are most of the time?

And in this sort of situation, it's hard to figure out what you want to say about yourself that is telling that they don't already know. What are the defining moments that brought you from the eighteen year old they knew to who you are today? And, is the first meeting in nearly three decades the right time to subject someone to a litany of them? The answer is "no," I believe, so tonight we covered some of the really big ones and left the lesser known, but very powerful ones, for another time.

Friendship is a dance of timing and revelation. Even reconnecting to old friends. And honesty is a big part of it all. Maybe that's why blogs where people talk honestly about their lives - warts and all - are always more interesting than those where people just recite their children's latest accomplishments. Don't we all want to think others are as uncertain as we are? Does that make us horrible people? Or is it just a bit of 'round about honesty that we feel uncertain?

Something I really appreciated about this encounter was that Cathy went to some effort to make it happen. She called and wrote. I called and wrote. And eventually we made it happen. That seems a good beginning to a reconnection. It was great to see her.

Christmas

We started Christmas morning off at Bobby and Cathy's house to see what Santa brought BC. He must have been a very good boy this year because Santa brought him a laptop and a wireless setup to go with it.

By 8:30 a.m. I was flat on the floor in their office, my head stuck under the desk, to see what we needed to do to get the wireless going. What can I say? I'm a bit of a geek. I get excited by new technology toys.

By the way, please take note of BC's new jammies. Had you heard his mom and grandma the night before, you would have thought he was 5 instead of approaching 19.

BC was so good this year that Santa also got him a wii. Christmas afternoon was spent with guitar hero...



But, illustrating one of the many ways he's so good that Santa was so nice... he shared.



There were other games too... bowling and golf and more...



Look at that form!



Somewhere along the way we opened presents...



Can you guess what it is?



Everyone likes stockings!



Today Mattie's family had their Christmas so I went out to see everyone. It's always fun to see kids enjoy Christmas.

I wanted to play with Alex's dinosaur, but it seemed rude to ask a child to share his toy.



Hannah was making a haul, too.



Johnny and Leah had three envelopes for their nieces. He said one had a lot of money, one a medium amount, and one a small amount. He didn't know which was which and let them choose. They all seemed happy at the end.






I discovered Leah is one of my own kind when it comes to wrapping presents. As she put it, "I like to make them pretty." She was modeling the ribbon from my packages.

Generally I don't exchange gifts with all of them, because we're not usually together, but I had picked up some little ornaments for each of them as a remembrance. I had expected to leave them with Mattie because I didn't expect to see everyone, but it was very nice to share that fun with them.

It was a nice day, although I wasn't my usual perky self quite yet. I am, however, feeling better. Tomorrow I'm eating real food again! It's a big day!

Round Two

I got sick overnight so couldn't go shopping this morning. I tried, but I was just too exhausted from the stomach flu, round 2. Tonight I'm feeling much better, but tired. I'm hoping the morning dawns with me feeling my usual perky self.

It has been many years since I've not gone out the day after Christmas shopping. I tried. I drove to Paducah, about 30 minutes away, and by the time I got there I was so tired I had to sit in the car for about 40 minutes before I could even go inside, where I bought nothing.

I went to another store and I bought some wrapping paper and one ornament. Not much of a haul for the day after, but it just couldn't be helped. Maybe there will be goodies left for me when I get my next chance to shop. Or maybe this is the universe's way of telling me I have too much Christmas stuff. Hmmm... nope... that can't possibly be it. However, I can only assume there was nothing there I desperately needed.

I've spent the rest of the time since I woke up trying to disinfect anything I might have touched so no one else gets sick. I hate it that I was around everyone on Christmas Day and could have given them the flu before realizing I had it. I was so hoping I would escape this, but it was not to be. Fortunately, no one else shows any symptoms yet. I hope that continues. I will feel just awful if someone else gets sick.

Hutchinson News Story about my Christmas Tree

The Hutchinson News did a story about my Christmas Tree. So fun!

Check it out at: http://www.hutchnews.com/Todaystop/treesiri.

I hope your Christmas Day has been fabulous so far and the rest of your holiday season is spectacular!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

Thanks for sharing some of the holiday season with me this year.
It has been memorable. Below are some photos I've shared this month, along with a video tour of the house.


In the sunporch I have three lighted trees this year. The full size one is the Santa tree. When I sit in that chair I can see the main tree in the living room.



It was inspired by this ornament...





To the left of the santa tree in the sunporch is the red and white tree...





This Santa is on the writing desk beside the red tree.



On the other side of the sunporch, in front of the piano, is the pink and green tree.







Under the living room tree, the main tree is where I have all the presents.



There's a theme every year. This year's blue, purple, silver and white was inspired by a ribbon.



The tree looks different exposed for the lights.

Also in the living room I have the copper and gold tree.

In the dining room this year I have a white tree with blue, silver and crystal ornaments.




Beside this tree, on a chest, I have some of my Santas.

I also have this tree in the dining room...

And near it two of my favorite Santas...

This is right behind the table, where I spread out the goodies when I had my open house Saturday night. I love to bake, so I cooked up a number of sweets.


If you want to see it all in context, I took some video. Just click on the arrow and it will play automatically for you.


Greg took some photos of folks Saturday night. Some included Ace Jackalope.









Thanks for being part of my holiday season this year. Merry Christmas to you and yours. If you're enjoying a big family celebration, or gathering with friends, or appreciating the beauty of solitude this Christmas, may it be all you wish it to be and full of wonder. Happy Christmas to All.


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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. My southern fiction book is complete and I'm looking for a literary agent. Friend me on Facebook.com, Follow me at Twitter.com.

Holiday Remembrances

Every year people in my life gift me with some wonderful treasures during the holiday season. Some come as hostess gifts at the open house and are just because gifts. Pictured are just some of the goodies that have found their way to me this season.

The doily everything is sitting on was from Pat. I have a deep affection for hand crocheted items of all sorts - from potholders to doilies to lace on linens.

Jocelyn made me those cards, and Sharon brought that "Night Before Christmas" book. I don't think she knew it is my favorite Christmas book. I have the one I've had since childhood that I put out every year.



This precious little teacup is from Barbara. It's one her mother made and she passed it on to me. She says she's not sentimental about things. I, of course, am sentimental about everything. I've already put in on the tree, so I can enjoy it every year. She brought some other goodies, too, but I simply couldn't picture everything. This little teacup is a treasure.



Of course, people know of my fondness for tea, and my friend, Jan, brought me this beautiful Lenox tea cart ornament. Isn't it amazing? I was so touched that she remembered me this way.



Mary Lou made me this amazing crocheted tea cup and saucer? Isn't it incredible? I adore the little pink touches around the edges. I wrote here some time ago that I was wanting some crocheted tea cups. Mary Lou read it and took it to heart. It was so sweet of her to do it.



This little angel came from Nancy, who has made my tree much more cosmopolitan. She got the angel in Poland. Last year she brought me an ornament from Mongolia, and the year before one from Russia. It's so kind of her to think of me when traveling.

I just love all of these, as well as other things not pictured here like a copy of Jim's book, great Christmas music (old-fashioned greats!), Santa figurines and other goodies. It's very kind of people to remember me at the holidays.
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Christmas Catch up

Well, I'm happy to report that I'm feeling better. Not completely normal yet, but much better. So... time for some Christmas catch up.



Greg was here, complete with the blinking elf hat purchased during our trip to see Andy Williams, on Thursday evening for the Children's Christmas. Father Christmas was spectacular, of course. We didn't have a large turn out of kids - the weather was getting a little dicey - but, it was fun.

The News came to take some photos and interview me about the tree and other decorations. I'm hoping it's a fun piece. I really love to share Christmas with folks.

The next few days are a blur of going to the doctor and laying on the couch, interrupted by piling up in bed, only to return to the couch. Of course, I could see the tree from the couch, so that was a bonus.

Saturday night I did throw on some sweats and drive through the luminaria in Hyde Park for about an hour. I didn't want to miss it. It's just gorgeous and such a cool thing. Jim Sunderland has been one of the organizers for years and I so appreciate that sort of dedication. Jim is a good guy in so many ways.

Greg took some beautiful photos and allowed me to add a couple in here. I took none. I remained in the warm car at all times.





Sunday afternoon I snapped a photo of the winter solstice sunlight hitting an ornament on the tree. I had watched it do this Saturday afternoon and Greg took some photos. On Sunday I couldn't resist getting off the couch and snapping some myself. This was the one I got that was passable. It's a fun little bit, and an idea I owe to Greg.



If you haven't been looking in on The Lope lately, you should. He's doing Ace's Twelve Days of Christmas.

I hope the last few days of your Christmas season are shaping up nicely.
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Sick

I hate it when people blog about being sick, but I know people wonder where I'm at if I don't blog every day. So, it's unavoidable for me to explain that without saying, "I'm sick." I can't think about much of anything else right now other than getting well. Your regularly scheduled blogging will resume when I'm well. Very soon, I hope.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. Friend me on Facebook.com, Follow me at Twitter.com.

Father Frost

I just love it when Father Frost makes a holiday appearance.
________________
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Nothing witty

I'm afraid I have nothing witty, interesting or insightful to share with you today. My brain power has been occupied with work details. There's much to do for a non-profit at year end. I'm afraid little of it is particularly interesting. It's mostly paperwork sorts of things. But, it's necessary nonetheless. So, I've been immersing myself in it, trying to slog through.

It's hard to believe that Christmas is one week away. I'm not ready! I want more Christmas season!

We go this gorgeous snow on Tuesday and I was so busy I didn't really get a chance to enjoy watching it. It seems a shame now that the actual holiday is so close. If I could just have a couple more weeks of Christmas season I'd love it. Just a couple more weeks. Please. Who's in charge of these things, anyway?

It's certainly not me. I want to move Thanksgiving to the end of September so we'd have Thanksgiving season, then Halloween season, then the Christmas season would start November 1.

Well, I must go get some rest. I have more mind-numbingly-dull paperwork to do tomorrow. Gosh, there's something to look forward to.

Actually, I do have something to look forward to tomorrow - lunch with Kristine and then tomorrow evening is my Children's Christmas open house. I tried to do this last year but cancelled because of the ice storm. So, this is the first go at it. Father Frost will be here. The candy canes are ready. We'll see how it goes. I don't know what to expect - there may be one kid or three or twenty or fifty. Whatever, it will be fun, I'm sure.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. Friend me on Facebook.com, Follow me at Twitter.com.

Avoidance

I've had a couple of emails from folks commenting that I've not been writing my usual kind of material here - what I'm thinking about, what I'm ticked off about, what is happening in the political world, etc. I assure you I'll be back to my usual self after the holidays. I just need a break.

I'm sick to death of hearing about the horrible economy and all the other "news" of the day. So, I'm avoiding. Those of you who have read here for a while know I'm a big believer in avoidance as a coping technique. Denial catches up with you almost immediately but avoidance, avoidance my friend can carry you through for a long time.

So, I'm avoiding. And, blissfully, it's a great season for avoidance. There are sparkly holiday lights and Christmas music and pretty presents and looking forward to seeing my family.

You can always haunt the archives if you need a fix of the other sides of me. Below is a list from 2007 and earlier, in no particular order, of some of the things people mention to me now and then. Meanwhile I'll be here, cocooned in my fluffy Christmas world, for a bit longer.

This I Believe
http://www.patsyterrell.com/2006/08/this-i-believe.html

Is This appropriate?

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2007/07/logic-and-appropriateness.html

Quivira

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2006/10/quivira-national-wildlife-refuge-today.html

Bits and Pieces of Life

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2006/10/bits-and-pieces-of-life.html

Mama

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2005/05/remembering-mama.htm

I am No One's Daughter

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2005/04/i-am-no-ones-daughter.htm

How Big is the Sun?

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2005/04/how-big-is-sun.htm

Easter Sunday Thoughts

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2007/04/easter-sunday-rambling-thoughts.html

The Last Time

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2006/04/could-be-last-time-i-had-very-full-day.html

Let it go, let it be, let it lie

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2007/03/creative-sisterhood-and-more.html

A Ten Year Plan

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2006/08/10-year-plan-tonight-was-chicks-and-it.html

Letters from 1982

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2007/06/1982.html

Old Friends

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2007/06/old-friends.html

Poking at old lives

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2007/07/poking-at-old-lives.html

Dr. Robert Putnam

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2005/04/dr-robert-putnams-speech-in-hutchinson.htm

Finding a Good Man

http://www.patsyterrell.com/2006/07/finding-good-man-i-heard-song-today.html

Not Natural to Be Happy
http://www.patsyterrell.com/2006/02/no-longer-natural-to-be-happy.html

Travel with Matthew - 4/9/2004
http://patsyterrell.livejournal.com/6516.html

Teaching Children - 4/18/2004
http://patsyterrell.livejournal.com/10405.html

Mama 4/24/2004
http://patsyterrell.livejournal.com/11506.html

Journals 7/27/2004
http://patsyterrell.livejournal.com/30958.html

Unity 9/14/2004
http://patsyterrell.livejournal.com/40971.html

Happiness 9/17/2004
http://patsyterrell.livejournal.com/41245.html

Person of Rivers 10/10/2004
http://patsyterrell.livejournal.com/47544.html

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Time

It's only one week until Christmas eve. I don't know about you, but I have many things to do between now and then. I have numerous work things to do before the end of the year and some of them are a bit complex. I worked on one of them today, but didn't get it done, so I'll tackle it again tomorrow.

Most of my shopping is done, although I still have a couple of little things left to buy. I have everything wrapped that I have bought, but there are some little details I won't take care of until the last minute.

To top it off, it's too darned cold here at the moment to be doing anything. We have an "arctic blast" and they're not joking. It was frigid all day and is supposed to be the same tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to being out in it tomorrow and I have a long list of things to accomplish.

Tonight was our Chicks Christmas party and it was lovely. Tomorrow night is the MHA board meeting so I'll have to be out in the weather then, too. I'm one of those people who's cold all the time, anyway, so this is not a bonus.

They're planning to turn my water off tomorrow for at least part of the day to work on a break - we have a giant hole in the street right in front of my house - so I'm going to shower before I go to bed tonight and sleep with wet hair. I should have planned that better, but so it goes.
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Christmas at my Home

I thought it would be fun to participate in this online open house at www.boomama.net, while sharing photos from my real life open house this past Saturday. See how that all works together? Nifty, huh?

Saturday night was really fun. There were a little more than 60 people here over the course of the evening. About half of them were folks who had never been to my house at Christmas. It was great to see people, although I didn't get to chat with everyone as much as I would have liked to. In fact, I never said more than "hello" to quite a few folks. I don't know how to address that because, even though I love to talk, I can only talk so much so quickly. Yes, even me. Besides, I think people come to see the main tree as much as anything.



In the sunporch I have three lighted trees this year. The full size one is the Santa tree. When I sit in that chair I can see the main tree in the living room.



It was inspired by this ornament...





To the left of the santa tree in the sunporch is the red and white tree...





This Santa is on the writing desk beside the red tree.



On the other side of the sunporch, in front of the piano, is the pink and green tree.







Under the living room tree, the main tree is where I have all the presents.



There's a theme every year. This year's blue, purple, silver and white was inspired by a ribbon.



The tree looks different exposed for the lights.

Also in the living room I have the copper and gold tree.

In the dining room this year I have a white tree with blue, silver and crystal ornaments.




Beside this tree, on a chest, I have some of my Santas.

I also have this tree in the dining room...

And near it two of my favorite Santas...

This is right behind the table, where I spread out the goodies when I had my open house Saturday night. I love to bake, so I cooked up a number of sweets.




Greg took some photos of folks Saturday night. Some included Ace Jackalope.







I didn't include photos of all the trees or collections, because this post would be even longer. You can see some of the things on the shelves here.

I was so touched Saturday night that Mark and his mom, and Carl and Kris came down from Kansas City for the party. Mia came from Joplin. And, some folks brought me hostess gifts Saturday night that I was so touched by.

Today I relaxed and didn't do a whole lot. We all went to Newton for lunch before they headed to their respective homes, and Greg and I came back to Hutchinson. We had hoped to be able to stop by Teresa's on the way back and see her Christmas tree. That woman can decorate a tree, let me tell you. But, it just didn't work out to do that.

So, I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning up a bit and trying to stay warm. This is our first really cold day/night here. It is 9 degrees here now, with a windchill of -23. How can anything be 23 below zero?

Fortunately, I'm not in the wind, although my office, which is on the north side of the house, feels a bit colder than one would expect when storm windows are in place and plastic in addition. I bought some more plastic today to do a couple more windows. This is a price one pays to live in an old house but I just adore my old house so I'll get out the hair dryer and shrink wrap my windows in plastic. In fact, I think the last time I used the hair dryer was for that very thing.

A quick thank you to everyone who came Saturday night and shared the holiday season with me. And to everyone who's sharing the Christmas season with me online. I just adore Christmas and love to share it. Come on over, lets have a cup of tea and watch the lights!

________________
Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. My southern fiction novel is complete and I'm looking for a literary agent. Friend me on Facebook.com, Follow me at Twitter.com.

I've been neglecting my writing lately - the kind with pen and paper. I've been doing tons of writing at the keyboard, but that is a very different kind of writing.

I moved my writing desk to the east side of my sun porch to make room for the Christmas tree in there to be visible from the street. I also put out these new additions Greg got me for Christmas from Victorian Trading Company. I love that place and I've wanted these for ages. When we were there in October I was looking at them and Greg just got them for me for Christmas.
In addition to the tree in front of the window, I also put my favorite reading chair beside it, positioned so I can see the main Christmas tree in the living room when I'm sitting there. The white tree with the teapot ornaments I showed a few days ago is on the other side of this chair. I can sit there and see all but two of the Christmas trees in the house.



Maybe I should try writing from the chair. It would be different and maybe it would give me a new perspective. I know I need to spend some time with pen and paper. There's a magic you only get with that brain to hand to pen to paper connection.

There was a study I read about a year or so ago that showed that when people do creative writing at the keyboard it activates different parts of the brain than when people do creative writing with pen and paper. I generally do the most creative thinking with pen and paper and then do that actual writing at the keyboard.

It's with pen and paper that I do all of my soul searching. I could have told researchers it involves your brain differently. But, I guess they wanted something a bit more scientific than some woman in Hutchinson Kansas telling them... that whole proof and brain scans and such.
________________
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Time Going Quickly

The Christmas season is zipping by much faster than I want it to. It's only two weeks until Christmas now. It always happens this way. No matter how early I start, I'm still decorating up until the last possible moment before I start entertaining and then it seems I just don't have enough time to enjoy everything.

There's something magic to me about everyone else also being in the holiday mood. That increases my own joy. I have considered starting to entertain in November, but I don't think others would be in the mood for that.

Last night was Creative Sisterhood and Julie and Teresa stayed for awhile afterwards and just enjoyed all the trees. Teresa mentioned she thinks my main tree is more sculpture than Christmas Tree. Truth be told, the tree really isn't visible - it's encrusted with ornaments. She said surely there would be museums or shopping malls that would pay me to come and create a tree for them. That would be a cool job. I wouldn't want to do but a couple each year, because they take many hours, but it would be fun to see people enjoy them.

I love to share the decorations with people so it was fun that they stayed around to enjoy them. It's really the only time I've had people over in the evening this season since I've had everything done. Generally I do a lot of gatherings but I just haven't had the energy this year. I am really looking forward to my open house Saturday, and the kid's event next week, but I don't have anything else planned.



So far this season I've been pretty solitary, and it has suited me up until now, but I am looking really forward to having friends over Saturday night. Parts of my life feel very out of control right now, and I'm spending part of every day putting myself back together after the world tries to tear me apart. But every moment I don't have to interact with the world I can be devoted to pure Christmas joy.

We only get so many Christmases in a lifetime and I want to enjoy every one of them. I've been steeling myself since Jim's death in January, knowing that this year that would be hard in some ways. But, I know Jim would have appreciated that my holiday excessiveness makes me happy. He would have thought I was a little off my rocker, but if it made me happy to go for it. Our mother and Jim were very alike in that regard. I guess Jackie and I have a lot of that in us too - the "if it makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone, go for it" approach to life. It's not a bad way to live.

I'm realizing I have very few evenings left in which to go look at Christmas lights around town. I haven't done that at all since things got full force underway. I was waiting to do it with Greg and I realized today that I'm not going to have much opportunity to do it next week so I think I'll not get much of that done this year. But, I have my own decorations to enjoy and they make me very happy.

Last night I pulled the couch out into the middle of the living room, got a Christmas pillow and a quilt, and went to sleep looking at the Christmas tree. I always wake up a bunch of times during the night, and when I woke up a couple of hours later I turned it off and went upstairs to sleep the rest of the night. But, it was a really nice way to go to sleep. I'm thinking I may do the same tonight.



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Beautiful Foolishness

"Meanwhile, let us have a sip of tea. The afternoon glow is brightening the bamboos, the fountains are bubbling with delight, the soughing of the pines is heard in our kettle. Let us dream of evanescence, and linger in the beautiful foolishness of things."
                                             The Book of Tea by Kakuzo Okakura



This weekend I was taking photos of some of the Christmas trees around the house, including this one. I realize these things are "beautiful foolishness" but they make me happy, as do most things that would fall into the "beautiful foolishness" category.

I've practically stopped watching the news, which is filled with one story after another about the horrible economy. I think it would be so much better to focus on what's right with the economy. Wouldn't it be better if we could all focus on "beautiful foolishness" for awhile?
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Lunch with Jade at Country Rose Gifts and Tea Room

This is Jade, who I met this spring. We've gotten to know each other a bit over the past year and I've really enjoyed it. She is a hard worker, a wonderful volunteer, and a terrific person. She just started a new job at the chamber recently and they were so smart to hire her. She will do amazing things there.

Jade just returned from England, where she was part of a Rotary exchange program. I was so thrilled she got to go. Going abroad is always life-changing, and it certainly was for her.

She arrived at lunch today with a package. Well, we both did. I had bought a little ornament for her some weeks ago. I love to give people Christmas ornaments. She handed me her package and said, "this is just a little something." I said, "well, so is this - a very little something."

But, Jade was not telling the truth! What was in the package was a treasure. A beautiful, incredible treasure - not just a little something. It was this...



...  a Wedgewood teacup and saucer she bought when the group toured the factory in England. Isn't it stunning?!?!?! I'm so in love with it that I haven't even begun to consider drinking tea out of it. So far I've only photographed it. I had to rush to do that when I still had daylight so it would be shown off as beautifully as possible.

It was all the more perfect that we were having lunch at Hutchinson's new tea room, The Country Rose Gifts and Tea Room. It is perfectly charming. The food was good, the decor great and the service pleasant.



It's at 519 North Main, and well worth a visit.



The owner has done a great job with making it cozy and attending to the details.









They had a tree decorated that I just loved, with real tea cups. I have a tree with tea ornaments, but it just never occurred to me to create one with real tea cups. How could I possibly have never thought of this? Theirs was just beautiful.







They have a brewed tea ready each day, or you can choose the tea bag of your choice and they'll bring you your own pot of hot water, with a warmer underneath. I went with that since I can't have caffeine.



Tea always tastes better in a pretty cup. I can't wait to see how it tastes in the Wedgewood cup Jade brought me from England.
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Friends Lovely Friends

Saturday Susan and Cynthia surprised me with a visit. Considering they live more than a three-hour drive away, I was touched.

They also came bearing gifts. Very special gifts. Cynthia took this photo of me excitedly opening one of the gifts she brought, and wearing the other one. The pin I have on was a gift from her. I have a deep love of old costume jewelry pins, and I love star shapes, so it was perfect.

Another thing I have a tremendous love of is what was in this box.



Yes, hand-embroidered antique linens, with hand-crocheted lace. Wonderful. But, Cynthia had made them extra special because they were lavender scented. How beautiful is that?

Susan also had a surprise for me... something she had made herself...



An ornament she had paper pieced. It's another perfect gift... I love ornies... I love ornies people make. I labeled it with her name on the back so now I can add it to the tree.

I'm always so impressed with people who are great gift-givers. I try to be. Sometimes I'm more successful than others, but I guess we all are. But, I'm always charmed by people who can come up with the perfect thing.

Susan used to live in Hutchinson before moving to Valley Falls to her husband's family farm. Cynthia, who lives about an hour away from her, I have known for years from journaling lists online. After Susan moved to that part of the state I knew they should get to know each other. So we've all been to tea together and had some other outings. They were both able to come to the Ramona get away in April.

It was great to visit with them a bit and to also give them their Christmas presents. When Greg and I were in Kansas City in October for the Obama rally we made a stop at Victorian Trading Company, which I just love. I found these adorable tea pot ornaments and immediately snapped three of them up - one for each of us. I love having ornaments on the tree when I know other people have the same ones. There's something about that shared experience that really appeals to me.

Well, I hadn't even wrapped their gifts yet. They were still in the cushioning they had wrapped them in at the store. But, I didn't want to miss the chance to give them to them in person.

It was so nice to see them and I was so touched by their remembrances. They are things I will cherish.
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Sundays, Holidays and Friends

I've spent the day knocking around the house, taking pictures of Christmas things, getting more presents ready, doing some journaling, and just enjoying the season. This is my very favorite time of year and I don't want to waste a moment of it.

Although I'm always thinking about Christmas, there's something magical to me about the rest of the world being in the holiday spirit, too. Just a trip out to the grocery is brighter and cheerier. There's Christmas music on the radio all the time. Christmas lights are popping up all over. Cards are arriving every day. And being in touch with friends, old and new, is a real treat.

Terry stopped by this afternoon and we visited for bit. I hadn't had a chance to chat with him for quite awhile so that was nice.

Then later tonight I had a call from Brian, a friend from college. I missed his call - he left a message on the machine and I never answer that phone - but hopefully we'll connect soon. I neglected to include my cell phone number in my Christmas letter this year, and he didn't leave his number, probably assuming I had called ID. He had gotten my card/letter and called to visit. Brian and I shared a lot of really interesting times together. It will be good to catch up.

In the last few days I also heard from another old college friend. He found me on online and sent a note. We haven't talked in more than 20 years and he just popped up out of the blue. It was really, really good to hear from him. We had one of those relationships that covered a lot of ground in the years we knew each other. We didn't part badly at all, we just parted. I moved and we lost touch. It was really good to see his name pop up on the computer screen after all these years.

I thought how different our lives would have been if we'd been as connected technologically then as we are now. These days if you're willing to connect, it's easy to make yourself available with a website or facebook page or whatever. I love to make connection with people. There is no one I can think of that I had a relationship or friendship with in the past that I wouldn't be happy to hear from today. Of course, you both do have to want to connect or it doesn't matter how much technology is at your disposal.

I have barely left my home all weekend. Lunch at Roy's yesterday and a trip to the grocery tonight is it. It's hard to get me out of my home for anything not completely necessary during the holiday season. I love being surrounded by the decorations.

Someone asked me yesterday if I had anything in my Christmas decorations I had paid full price for. I thought for a minute and the only things I could come up with are really cheap little ornaments needed to fill in here and there at times. For example, I bought some ornaments this year that were four for 97 cents to fill in on the white/silver/blue tree. But, all the big stuff was bought on sale I think. There's a reason I'm out every year on December 26. Although, more and more stores give us the opportunity to buy things at half off even before the holiday. There will be some things I want to pick up this year, but nothing major I don't think.

But there are always things I find in Paducah that I haven't seen here. For example, these Santa ornaments. I picked these up a couple of years ago and I hadn't seen them until the day after Christmas. I loved them, although I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to do with them yet. Maybe those decorating shows are on to something when they say you should just buy what you love and it will all work. Of course, that's considerably less risky when it's half off a $7.97 Christmas ornament than when it's a full priced, custom designed, $6,000 sofa.


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Christmas Tree

Merry Christmas

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Quote of the Day

“One has to live a life that creates a writer.”
                                          –Erno Paasilinna
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Lovely Surprises

This is Cynthia (left) and Susan, who gave me a wonderful surprise today. They drove from Horton and Valley Falls to come to the Kansas Country Living open house. I had no idea they were coming and when I opened the door and saw them I was practically speechless. It was so cool to see them.

It was a lovely afternoon, visiting with them as well as other folks who came. One nice couple came from Leavenworth, which is a very long drive. They came for the open house but were making a weekend of it in Hutchinson, which is nice.

All in all it was a nice group - some local folks, including Anne from Roy's, and some folks who came a distance. I'm glad I did it.

Plus, it encouraged me to get things "finished" to a degree, which is nice. Tonight I've been relaxing, which is something I very rarely do. I'm going to head into the sunporch and sit down with a book. I've positioned the chair I reupholstered a few months ago so I can sit in the sun porch and see the main Christmas tree from there. Seems like a good way to wrap up the day.
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Cleaning House

I'm cleaning house. For me it's deep cleaning. For most people it would probably be the average weekly cleaning. Honestly, how do people do this on a regular basis? It's exhausting. And boring. Oh so boring. I could deal with all of that - but - it doesn't stay done. How do people have the fortitude to face this every week? Obviously, the women of the 50s were far  better humans than I am.

Of course, in my defense, they weren't bothered with that little problem of making a living, either. Maybe if dust bunnies were the most stressful work issue I faced every week I could make quick work of them too.
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Weekend

I'm so glad it's the weekend. Work is very stressful these days so I welcome the opportunity to not think about it for a couple of days.

I've been decorating more tonight and picking things up around the house. I live... uh... "casual"... shall we say. This translates into there are always piles of stuff lying around my house. Once a year I try to pick them up and make it presentable for company. That's the Christmas season. Now.

Tomorrow is my Kansas Country Living open house and I want things to look nice. "Nice" in Patsy-houskeeping-world means fewer piles. New! Improved! Fewer piles!

I haven't cooked even one thing yet but I don't need to make very much since it will be a small group. So, I'll do that tomorrow. I still have one more tree I want to decorate - just a little four foot one. I never know when to stop. I just keep going until people are knocking at the door. Foolishness, I know. Soon I will be running out of space in which to put decorations, so that will end it.

I really do need to start entertaining in November so I get every last thing done then. Or I need to not decorate at all and do something completely different during the holiday season. That, however, might cause me to lose my nickname of "Miss Christmas."

Teresa and I had lunch again today. We haven't had a chance to do that in forever and now two days in a row. It was great to catch up with her a little bit. She was wearing a necklace she bought from Mia, Greg's girlfriend, who is a beader extraordinaire. I'm not much of a jewelry person, but my friends who are love Mia's things. I have a bracelet she made for me and I always get compliments on it whenever I wear it.

Teresa said today she wanted some of Mia's business cards because people were always asking her where she got the jewelry. It occurred to me that I could just post a link to Mia's etsy store for those interested. So, here it is... http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5518195. She was working on it in Joplin when I was there, putting up more photos. People often ask me about seeing her things, so this seems like the perfect solution. I've now discharged my official duty of connecting people and jewelry.

Well, blogging is not in any way helping reduce the number of piles in my home so I suppose I'd best get up and do more of that. Then I suppose I'll need to sweep up the broken bits of Christmas ornaments and dispose of them properly. This housekeeping thing is exhausting. And never-ending. I'm now remembering why I only do it once a year.
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New Life

I've been decorating more tonight. This is one of my favorite theme trees. I don't have a name for it but it's all copper, brown, beige and gold. Not shiny gold, but a brushed gold. Generally I collect things for a tree for a few years before I gather enough different things to create a new theme.

This one usually goes into my sun porch because I have some of the walls in there painted a coffee brown. But, this year I have a full size tree in there that's green, red, white and gold with a Santa theme so this doesn't work. So, it's in the living room this year, by the bookcase. It's a nice spot for it. I love the golden glow.



I spent all morning in the office today, which is kind of unusual for me. It seems I'm always running errands or doing other things that keep me from actually being at my desk. It's a lovely office to be in. We're so fortunate to have it.

Every spare moment these days I'm working on the house. Saturday is my open house for Kansas Country Living readers and I always seem to keep decorating until the last moment. I've had very few RSVPs, but I know I'll enjoy meeting the folks who are coming.

Otherwise these days my brain is in overdrive, imagining my life in the coming year and what it will look like. I know it will be different. Better. More me. It's just a matter of how that will happen and the specifics. But I feel big, positive things on the horizon. It's exciting.

I'm ready for some travel abroad, without restrictions on my time, and with the money to enjoy the time there. I was looking at a hostel in Madrid tonight. I am feeling drawn to Spain and Morocco has been high on my travel list for a long time.



As I unpack Christmas things I'm reminded of travel because there are bits and pieces here and there from trips. The long crystal the bird is looking at in this photo is from a French antique chandelier. I bought it in Paris at a little boutique I was just passing by. I think I paid about $4 for it. My intention at the time was to use it for Christmas, even though I didn't have this tree theme then. It's those little bits that excite me. Not because of what they are, but the moments they represent.

That day I was wandering the streets of Paris, in an area I'd not been in before, just meandering and looking at the scenery. I wandered into this little shop, figuring everything there was out of my price range, but that it would be fun to look. I carried out three little crystals, wrapped carefully in tissue paper for the long trip home.

The crystals have a new life now, as ornaments. I guess they were always ornaments, but they're now of a different sort. I'm ready for a new life, too. A life of far less stress and far more income, blessed with even more good health and friends, and spending much more of my time being me.
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Trish is a Sage

It doesn't matter when I start on Christmas preparations, I'm still doing them at the last minute. There's always something more I can do so I just keep going.

Tonight I realized there was a problem with my database when I printed my Christmas card labels. So, I'm trying to sort that all out. To say detail work is not my forte would be a very generous description. So, if you were expecting an invite to my open house and haven't gotten one yet, realize it's not that you have been left out intentionally and please just come. Do email me so I can fix your address in my database so next year it will be smooth. OK, I'm trying, really. I want it to be smooth. Seems I'm trying to do that constantly. Why can I never get it done? Oh yeah, reference the details not my forte comment earlier.

I had lunch with Trish today and we talked, among other things, about holiday gatherings and friendship in general. I told Trish the Christmas card list always makes me think about people in my life who don't engage with me in any meaningful way.

I mentioned a specific friend... well, I guess he's not really a friend... he's, well, he's a former friend, maybe... although I question if we were ever friends... anyway... I never see him unless I just happen to bump into him. When I do he's over-the-top effusive. "Oh, we MUST get together! I've missed you! Lets have dinner soon! It's so good to see you. blah blah blah"

Well, stupidly, I believe this means he wants to see me and we should have dinner soon. Where do I get these ideas? So, I will email and suggest something and he will be positive but we never actually set anything up.

The thing I do not understand is why in the world would you put this much energy into pretending that you like me and want to see me when you obviously do not? You can be polite and say hello and "it's good to see you" without this "we must get together, oh my gosh how have I lived without seeing you" crap. And it is crap. It's not that this person is not social at all. He sees other people in my extended world. In these days of blogs and facebook this knowledge shows up on my computer screen without me looking for it.

Trish suggested that she thinks maybe it's a way people feel like they're being social because they're acting like we're long lost friends. I'm not lost. I live a few miles away. I'm on facebook, myspace, twitter, pownce, plurk, linkedin, entrecard and a host of other sites I can't even recall. If you google for me you find about a dozen pages of references to me, with multiple ways to contact me. You haven't. That's cool. But why oh why do you pretend like it's just been some horrific oversight? Just be polite and move on. I get it. You don't really want to engage with me in any meaningful way - for whatever reason - that's fine - just stop pretending otherwise. It makes you look like a fool.

I decided that the key will be for me to respond differently the next time it happens. The next time I'm approached with this fake BS I'm just going to be polite but very non-committal. There's no point in me wasting any breath/time to respond beyond that, and it's making me look like a fool, too.

Then Trish, as she so often does, made the wise comment of the day. She is a sage, that one.

"It can't be meaningful if our entire relationship depends on chance encounters." --- Trish Rose

That is friendship in a nutshell. Those chance encounters may be that you're showing up at the same workplace or church, or that you bump into each other at a concert, or that you run into each other at the grocery store. It's not that those can't be fun, but if those are the only interactions we have, the relationship is not likely to grow and survive long term. It isn't meaningful and it's not going to be at that rate.

Trish and I also talked about how alcohol is such a driving force for so many people when they're gathering - that it is the big attraction. I do not serve alcohol in my home. I do not want the ethical or legal obligations to make sure people get home safely. And I just don't like to be around drunk people. Of course, not everyone gets drunk just because there is alcohol around, but in a group of 10 there will be one that's obnoxious in no time. I don't want to deal with that person, so, I just avoid the whole issue. Trish suggested that probably keeps some people from attending my open house. I suppose that may be true, but so it goes. I'm just going to proceed as normal and assume there are still some folks in the world who are interested in things other than alcohol.
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Snow in the Forecast

Winter came down to our home one night
Quietly pirouetting in on silvery-toed slippers of snow,
And we, we were children once again.
                       ~Bill Morgan, Jr.

We have snow in the forecast for tomorrow for the first time this season. Of course, I got to see snow in Joplin on Sunday. I love the first snowfall of the season. It signals a shift in the seasons unlike anything else.

Of course, this won't amount to much accumulation, but it's just the idea that it's the time of year for such things. I do hope we get through this winter with the power intact the whole time.

There's something very cozy about being in a warm house while the snow falls outside. I've pulled out my long underwear, which appropriately enough have snowflakes on them; I've stocked milk and marshmallows for hot chocolate; I've fluffed up the warm socks in the dryer; so I'm ready for a cold snap.

No doubt I'll wish I'd spent some of the time I devoted to marshmallows to winterizing my home instead.
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Home

I am tucked into my warm house tonight, thankful to be here. I woke up early this morning to return to Hutchinson for work and was very sick. I had the worst tummy ache I've had since I was about four and ate too much German Chocolate Cake. (Mama let me have some, then Aunt Audrey did, then Cousin Cindy did, etc. etc. etc.) But I hadn't eaten too much German Chocolate Cake this morning - or any, for that matter. In fact I hadn't eaten anything that should have upset my tummy and it was more just pain than upset tummy.

I finally left Joplin early afternoon, with an aching tummy full of a variety of Miss Joy's over the counter medications, figuring I wasn't going to get much better/worse sitting there. It got much worse once I was in the car and I was starting to think I needed to turn around and go back to Joplin. Then, a miracle from above, it disappeared and has not returned. I was, and am, so thankful.

I'm a pain wimp. I've always been very healthy and the least little thing makes me whine like you wouldn't believe. Imagine how I was when I had a kidney stone. It wasn't pretty. My photo may still be at the emergency room with a big red circle and slash over it all these years later.

Today I was going through all sorts of options - appendicitis, gallbladder, kidney stone, etc. - but couldn't come up with anything other than tummy ache. That's the other thing I do, which I hate about myself - I start imagining I have horrible medical problems, including things there's a .0000000001 % chance I could ever contract. I simply cannot read medical books or websites. Next thing I know, I'm imagining I have some sort of rare disease one can only contract in the tropics, when I've been no where near the tropics. I just don't go there.

Tonight I'm so thankful to be feeling normal. I had some delicious dry toast for a midnight snack. There's no point in tempting fate.
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