Molly Ivans

Columnist Molly Ivans died a week ago at age 62. I cannot imagine going through what will no doubt be a fascinating presidential campaign and election without her voice. She was funny, witty and insightful all at once - no easy feat.

Her last published column about the proposed troop surge appeared in mid January and was titled, "Stand Up Against the Surge." You can read the entire column at http://www.creators.com/opinion/molly-ivins/stand-up-against-the-surge.html.

She wrote, "A surge is not acceptable to the people in this country — we have voted overwhelmingly against this war in polls ... and at the polls. We know this is wrong. The people understand, the people have the right to make this decision, and the people have the obligation to make sure our will is implemented."

That's what I always loved about Molly Ivans. She could cut to the chase and in a quick turn of phrase lay the responsibility right where it belonged - in this case with us, the people.

She continued: We are the people who run this country. We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war. Raise hell. Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. Make our troops know we're for them and trying to get them out of there. Hit the streets to protest Bush's proposed surge. If you can, go to the peace march in Washington on Jan. 27. We need people in the streets, banging pots and pans and demanding, "Stop it, now!"

Molly Ivans left us with an important charge. I hope we heed it.

It's easy to get caught up in the daily bits of news that is little more than psuedo-news, but easier for us to digest. Women astronauts in diapers driving across country over a man is something that's so alien to us that we don't have to think about it in terms of our own lives. It's easy to make jokes and dismiss it because it's not reality for very many people.

But we know that war is real. Real people are dying and that's much harder to deal with. But we must.

Computers

I have been having continual difficulty with the blog lately - tech stuff. Hopefully all will be resolved soon. But if things have seemed sporadic, that's why.

Tuesday

I had a speech very early this morning in Buhler. Nothing like leaving your house when it's still dark outside. But the speech went well. By the time I left to come back to Hutch a bit after 8, the beautiful day was developing nicely. It got up to 63 today this afternoon with lots of sunshine.

On my way back to town today I drove by a farmer's field where he had parked a number of his formerly used machinery. If you want to see a bigger photo of it, just click on the picture and it will take you to a bigger version.




I spent the day working on computer stuff mostly. I was relieved to discover I had not made an Id10t error on a database I need, so that was a relief. Otherwise, I got to have a quick lunch with Trish to talk about her campaign stuff and late in the day I took a walk at Dillon Nature Center. I was fascinated with the shadows on the still frozen pond.










The news has certainly been interesting today - from astronauts in wigs and diapers spraying mace, to evangelical Christian leaders who like to perform oral sex on men claiming they're "completely heterosexual." While I, as you can well imagine, have much to say on both topics, it will have to wait for another day. I have been up about 20 hours and even I need *some* sleep.

Third Places

I've been thinking a lot these days about "third places," the term coined by Ray Oldenburg. His concept is that home is the first place, and work is the second, and the "third place" is the community gathering location - whatever that might be.

He says these are essential to a democracy, a community, because they give people from different walks of life a place to gather where they're all on a level playing field. I see some beauty in this concept. And I do believe it to be true in some ways, but I fear in our modern society we no longer know how to make the actual contact once we're in this place.

I was thinking about third places with regard to my own life and contemplating which ones I have. I do have some.

I go to certain restaurants often enough that there are other regulars there now that I say hello to, even though we've never had a real conversation. It's friendly and it gives you a feeling of community. However, I've never even had a real conversation with them, much less anything more meaningful. We have no real relationship and to pretend otherwise is foolish.

This is where I think the concept of third places falls apart in our modern world where, as best I can tell, we grow socially more inept by the moment. I agree they're part of what forms a community and they offer a place for people to exchange ideas. But people have to actually do that. Exchanging pleasantries is not the same as exchanging ideas.

The Dancing Grouse, Diana's store, is a definite third place for me and for others here. And I have made some friends there. And it is certainly a place where people talk - the atmosphere is conducive to that and that's because Diana has made a real effort to create it.

I think the trick is how you move beyond that casual hello to each other in a coffee shop to something resembling a relationship. At one time people knew how to do that. I'm not sure we do anymore. We are a nation afraid of everything - including our fellow humans. Statistically the number of friends we have continues to decrease, as it has for the past few decades. We seem far too afraid of the risk to take a chance in most cases.

However, the idea of not having any gathering places seems awful. That, in a nutshell, is what suburbia is. People go to work, commute home, drive into their houses through the garage door, close them and don't venture out until the next morning when they go to work. In smaller communities people gather at the local restaurant where there's a group of elderly men "having coffee." In bigger cities, people have many choices of places to drop into. In suburbia there's no where to go.

I have read that planners have started to take these things into consideration when planning communities. I think that's healthy. We have to at least give people an opportunity to relearn the skills we've lost.

I've been mulling over this idea for the past few weeks. The conclusion I've come to is that "third places" offer the opportunity but it is still incumbent on the individual to go beyond the casual into the meaningful.

The Weekend

I have had an incredibly productive weekend. But, good grief, I'm exhausted. Saturday I cleaned most of the day. Not the "cleaning" I usually do, which is moving the clutter from one place to another, but cleaning as in moving furniture and cleaning beneath it and actually dealing with the clutter. This should not imply, however, that I am done. With even one room. But I did make a lot of progress.

Saturday night Greg, Teresa and I went to see Hubbard Street 2 at the Fox. It was a modern dance performance and I enjoyed it. I don't know squat about dance, but I was happy to get to go. Going to the Fox is always a treat - just to be in the theatre is cool - and there are always tons of people there I know so it's fun to get to visit.

I also made time to go to the monthly flea market where I purchased this beautiful pin and earring set from a lovely lady named Lillian Smith from Dodge City. We had a nice chat while I was making my purchase.

She had another really nice pin/earring set, but I couldn't splurge on both. This one set was all that was in my costume jewelry pin budget for today. (Doesn't everyone have a pin budget?) But I have never seen a one like this and I had nothing this deep green color.

I will probably never wear the earrings, even though they're very cool. How women ever stood clip-on earrings pinching their lobes I don't know. I put one on for about 20 seconds and that was all I could take, but it looked very nice.

Admittedly, poking a hole in one's ear does involve a tiny bit of pain, but it's a one-time thing, and it is minor - much more minor than having it in a vise grip on the back of some pretty sparkly things.

After the flea market I went and washed the car. Of course, it desperately needed it after driving in snow for a few days. But, the car washing was also designed to trick myself into thinking that I was doing something productive with the trip to that part of town, which also just happened to be where the flea market was. Never mind the car wash I generally use that's only a few blocks from my home is much better. There was no one selling old costume jewelry pins near it.

Later this afternoon we were treated to a decent sunset. I was in the car and started hunting for a foreground to snap a photo. I was near the Cosmosphere and realized I wasn't going to have time to get anywhere else in time to catch it. Unfortunately, it wasn't the best angle, but I got a bit of it.




We may not have a lot of skyscrapers in our little burg, but we have our own "skyline" - rockets, grain elevators, etc.

Pumpkin Bread

It is cold here and will stay that way all weekend. I think I'm going to cook. I love the smell of baked goods on a wintery day. OK, truth be told, I like the smell of baked goods pretty much anytime.

I think this is a perfect day for making some pumpkin bread. My mom always made pumpkin bread and it is my brother, Jim's, favorite. Whenever he would come to visit her she would bake him loaves to take with him. I think there might have been occasions when he didn't necessarily want to share it when he got back home.

When I was in college, I wanted to make some one time and didn't have my mom's recipe. For some reason I couldn't reach her so I started going through cookbooks until I found one. (Yes, even then I had a predilection for cookbooks.) I mixed it up and it was pretty darned good.

When I was next home I took some and my mom decided it was better than the recipe she had been using. I knew I had "arrived" as a cook when my mom started using my pumpkin bread recipe and relegated her old one to the trash bin.

I often make it without nuts if I'm making it for a group of people because so many people don't like nuts. Mama, however, saw no point in making any baked good without a healthy addition of pecans. So, do as you will, it's good either way.

Pumpkin Bread

3 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon nutmeg
2 teaspoons soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
3 cups sugar
1 cup oil
2/3 cup water
4 eggs
2 cups canned pumpkin
pecans (optional)

Mix dry ingredients. Then add other ingredients and mix well. Bake at 350 degrees for about an hour. Makes 2 loaves. This bread can be frozen after baking with no ill effects.

I like it plain, but also serve it with honey butter sometimes. I do swear by tea as the perfect accompaniment.

De-Kringling

I had an 8 a.m. meeting today. It was 7 degrees when I left the house. Delightful! Fortunately, it was not windy so that made it much better. When I was done with that I came back to the computer at home to work all day, and have not left my house again.

I am meeting Greg and Terry, and maybe Teresa, for dinner so I'll need to start the bundling process again, although it's a toasty 21 at the moment. I am just about to get officially tired of winter. And, frankly, if we're going to have cold, I'd like to have snow. We need the moisture. We still have some on the ground, but we are so low on water here that we need every bit we can get. I'd much prefer it coming in the form of snow than ice, but I'll take it however we can get it.

I have been working on getting the Christmas stuff put away. I have made more trips up and down the basement stairs than I can count. And I have the "wall o' plastic tubs" down there, full of xmas goodies. The "wall" has become more a "cube" of tubs, really. I am happy to say that this year I added only ONE small tub of stuff to my stash of Christmas goodies. ("Small" being defined as a 20 gallon tub, but compared to the 45 gallon ones that is small.)




This year I also bought some laundry bags to contain the smaller trees and be able to hang them up. So far this seems like a much better system than them being piled a corner of the basement, which was my previous "system."

I should be embarrassed to show that corner of the basement, but there you are. There's another row of plastic tubs you can't see in this photo, plus a couple of huge ones that hold bigger Santas and other misc. things. I guess everyone has their things, and Christmas is one of mine.

I finished taking down the tree last weekend - it took three weekends to get it done. I have all the boxes of ornaments stored, the tree out in the shed, and the lights packaged ready to take to the basement so I'm making progress. I think I have everything off the shelves around the house now. I just need to finish packing it away and get it back down to the basement. I'm hoping by the end of this weekend that's all done.

Sometimes I think I'm a little nuts for doing all this, but it's so pretty and sparkly when it's done. In case you've forgotten, the tree is pictured here.

After I get all this done I will need to clean up all the broken bits from where the tree was. There is some attrition every year. When I'm buying "special" ornaments I try to get them in the "less breakable" variety. I have some glass things that are really special to me, but I try to get less fragile items.

I am, however, ready for Christmas to be packed away for a few months. By fall I'll be eager to do it all again.

In the meantime I've been working on the MHA Garden Tour. It's set for June 24 this year and it's our 10th anniversary so I want it to be extra special.

Forgivness - Art of Gracious Living #59

Art of Gracious Living Podcast #59 - Forgiveness
Part 4 of our 4 part series on How to be Happier

Forgiveness is an essential to happiness. In this week's episode I share some of my personal stories of forgiveness, and how to let go of trangressions.

As long as we walk around carrying grudes, we are still giving power to those who have hurt us. When we forgive, we do it for ourselves, and we take back our power.

The blubrry player will open in another window and allow you to choose which episode you want to hear. The most recent will come up automatically.

Afraid of Cartoons

When did we become a nation that can be traumatized by cartoons?

Boston was shut down today while they located a dozen circuit boards designed to promote Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Admittedly, some judgement was lacking - they put these things around the city without getting the appropriate permits. However, lets get a grip on reality - they were little circuit boards running on batteries, with cartoon characters on them - not exactly a major threat.

These were placed in nine other cities too, but none of them reported any difficulties. But in Boston it became a major problem - because they chose to make it one. Otherwise reasonable people become concerned when they see officials and others getting freaked out.

This is a prime example of mass hysteria. Someone starts it and it just grows and grows and grows. Pretty soon roads are shut down, talk radio has no other topic to discuss, and a major city is at a standstill. They're cartoons, for heaven's sake.

When did we become a nation of scaredy cats? We're now afraid of cartoons? Good grief. We've already proven we're afraid of the dark by fleeing NY when the power went off for six hours. Is there anything we're not afraid of? What happened to the boogey man? He apparently has lost all the power he once had. He needs a better PR person.

When a friend was telling me about this tonight I said I figured it was a planned advertising stunt. At this point, it appears that might well be the case. And you know what? They got more than their money's worth because I'm watching it on the evening news and reading about it online - you can't buy this kind of publicity. To top it off, even if they have to pay for the city's expenses they'll still come out on top.

However, I have to say, I doubt anyone would have imagined a cartoon character would cause this sort of mass hysteria. I can't imagine how the company could have foreseen this reaction. It's so extreme it defies explanation, other than the above mentioned group think.

Turner Broadcasting said the devices had been in place for two to three weeks in Boston; New York; Los Angeles, California; Chicago, Illinois; Atlanta, Georgia; Seattle, Washington; Portland, Oregon; Austin, Texas; San Francisco, California; and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Only in Boston did people get freaked out and that just built on itself. Boston officials are all up in arms, demanding apologies - more than they've already gotten, and threatening lawsuits.

This entire country needs to get a grip. We seem to be afraid of everything these days. Our reactions are so extreme, although I guess Boston officials got some good training today. "The terrorists" - whoever they are that we're supposedly fighting - can threaten us so much more easily than they ever imagined. That is the whole purpose of terrorism - to instill terror. Who needs bombs? All it takes to terrify us is a cartoon.

Virtual March

Move On is working on a virtual march to discourage escalation of the war in Iraq. Click on the photo to sign up.

I'm not sure what needs to be said about escalation of the war in Iraq. It is one of the most foolhardy ideas I've ever heard. We're failing miserably, so we should - obviously - pour a ton more resources into it. Yeah, there's some good thinking. Oh, and in this case, "resources" means lives. Lives of young men and women.

Only Bush and McCain seem to think escalation is a good idea. They have largely been deserted by the rest of their own party, much less the public. So, this is a great way you can make sure your representative knows how you feel, just in case they're weakening.

It's set for Thursday, Feb. 1. You can sign up to call your representatives. Their hope is to have a steady stream of calls all day long.

Move On uses technology in a fabulous way. I'm always impressed whenever I do something with them.

Take a few minutes and support the military by saving their lives.

Projects

I have been hunched over the computer most of the day working on MHA projects. This is a very busy time of year for me with work so I don't get a lot of down time. In fact, at 1:17 a.m. I'm still working.

I did take time to have lunch with Trish. She is someone I never see enough of. I'm honored to have such great friends and she is one of them. We have been friends a long time now and have grown closer over the years.

We talked about her campaign for city council and what needs to be done. I know she will do a great job.

This afternoon I redesigned the MHA stationery. We're changing our name to be in line with national and so I have to redo everything. I need to print new business cards for myself, too. It's time to send membership letters and so there's motivation to get the letterhead done now.

This time of year I always feel like there's more for me to do than I have time/energy to get done.

No More Self-Pity

I am feeling much more normal today. Yesterday I had a bit of a melt-down. It doesn't happen very often, but once every year or two it seems to come on like a ton of bricks and yesterday was the day.

But, I don't allow myself to wallow in self-pity for more than 24 hours so when I woke up this morning I decided to get on with life as we know it. Self-pity is such a debilitating, unpleasant place to be in. It's fine to visit there briefly, but no point in making it a permanent address. And Mama was right - nobody's pretty when they cry.

Besides, self-pity conflicts with five of my ten rules for living - particularly Rule #4, which is "Be Happy. You have no right to be anything else. You are Blessed. Appreciate it." If something conflicts with half of your basic life principles, it's something to be avoided.

On the upside, crying nonstop for many hours tends to exhaust a person so I slept very well last night - very soundly.

Fortunately, even Mother Nature cooperated with my mood today by delivering sunny skies, although it is chilly. However, another walk will no doubt do me some good. It didn't stave off the inevitable yesterday, but I'm sure it didn't hurt either.

Jeanette Walls

This morning I went to see Jeanette Walls, a nationally known gossip columnist for MSNBC who published her memoir in "The Glass Castle."

Her childhood was one of tremendous poverty, with parents who were eccentric on a variety of levels. There were times she and her three siblings were hungry, with no indoor plumbing, while her brilliant alcoholic father dreamed and her mother painted and ate chocolate.

She summed up her childhood by saying, "When we weren't running from something, we were chasing something."

She writes candidly about her childhood, without blaming her parents, and merely seeing them as they were - flawed but loving. She said of her parents, "Despite what they didn't give us, they gave us a good measure of self-respect."

She is not bitter about her childhood. She said, "I'm a pragmatist. I don't believe there's much to be gained from anger and bitterness."

She also said there are some positives to the lifestyle she had. "The upside to having a life like mine is that you learn you can survive."

At the luncheon afterwards, she talked about a school that had a lot of poor students using her book in class. She said the teacher told her that they message they went away with was, "Take responsibility for yourself at the earliest possible age and you'll be OK."

Walls moved to New York at 17 and finished high school while working. She and her sister had an apartment in the Bronx. When her brother joined them a year later they could split the rent three ways instead of two. She said it was a revelation to her and her sister - you paid the bills and the water stayed on - it seemed amazing.

She got a job at a local paper in Brooklyn and it was the editor there who encouraged her to get a college education. At the luncheon she explained that she was very naive and just asked what the best college in NY was. Someone said Columbia so she called them and said she wanted to register. They didn't take women at the time, so suggested she call Barnard. She said she had no concept of ACTs or SATs but just went and took the test and got in to Barnard.

No doubt the years of reading nonstop served her well in that regard. She said her mother used to go the library with a pillowcase and come home with it full of books for all of them. In the lecture she mentioned teachers and librarians as those who can make a tremendous difference in a child's life.

Walls went through college with scholarships, grants, loans and her own savings. She needed $2,000 in her senior year and only had $1,000. Her father gave her the other $1,000. Her parents were living on the street at the time and she said she couldn't take it. His response was that he wasn't going to see his daughter not graduate from college.

Walls was burned when she was three years old. She was cooking a hotdog and her dress caught fire. She was in the hospital for six weeks, where nurses asked why a three year old was cooking for herself. Walls didn't think it odd, of course. It was just her life as she knew it.

When she started dating her husband, she was telling him that her body was scarred from that event and apologizing for it. His response was, "Don't ever apologize for your scars. Your scars show that you've survived. Scars give you texture. Smooth is boring."

She said after telling that story at a lecture at a very upscale gathering after the book came out that someone came up afterwards and said, "There's no such thing as smooth. You look closely, even silk has some texture."

At lunch today she said that she used to think every child needed one parent to take an interest in them but she has now decided just any adult can do that. She said if a child has one adult that believes in them, the child will cling to that, and they can make it.

She told this story about reading a comment made by a former teacher, Mrs. Owens. The teacher was asked if she knew the conditions and she recounted a story of helping Walls with something and she noticed that Walls' arms were dirty under her sleeves and she suddenly thought, "oh my, Jeanette's family doesn't have running water." But her next thought was, "but she'll be OK."

Walls said whenever she walked into that teacher's room, the teacher's eyes lit up and all she ever felt from her was admiration and respect. And she said that's what she needed most at that point - dignity. She did not want anyone to know they were poor and would even wash her face in the snow to avoid anyone knowing they didn't have water.

Walls said she will always be thankful for her teachers. "Education is the great equalizer."

She encouraged people to realize, "When you pull up other people, you're not pulling yourself down."

In her job, Walls covers celebrities. She said one thing she has learned is that, "Deprivation comes in all forms." She said when she went to New York she was shocked at how unhappy people who seemingly had everything could be.

She realized that she and others like her are blessed in some ways. "We have certain advantages. We understand the difference between need and want."

She mentioned going to a brother's friend's house as a kid and thinking, "wow - there's heat and his mother is cooking breakfast - this would be wonderful." Then his father came downstairs and hit the kid who was sitting at the table drawing a picture of a horse and told him not to be putting on airs. She said she suddenly felt like she was living the good life, even though there wasn't heat or food at her house. "Us poor folks have to understand we're not the only ones who suffer," she said.

Her life is so different now. She joked at the lecture that she now has a "big yellow house - yellow on all sides - with four flushing toilets in it." She said everytime one flushes she's grateful.

Her husband, also a writer, really helped motivate her to write her story. She expected people might shun her and she was worried about being disloyal to her family. Before she wrote the book, she asked her mother what she should tell people about their lives and her mother said simply, "Tell the truth."

So that's what Walls has done - the truth, unvarnished and un-interpreted. Of course, that isn't always easy.

She did distill the lessons she learned from her childhood.
1. Don't underestimate people.
2. Don't be afraid to do the "skedaddle" - but go toward something instead of running away from something because that will catch up with you.
3. Face your demons.
4. Accept your own past.

The thing she said that really struck a cord with me was, "Kids like us, we're fighters. One of things we don't know is when to stop fighting - when to take off the armour." I can relate to that so incredibly well.

The other thing that really resonated with me was that she said she never takes anything for granted.

I know just what she means.

My Sweet Brat

I have, again today, had the misfortune to catch a bit of "My Super Sweet Sixteen" on Mtv. I'll be the first to admit, I could turn the channel, but it's like a bad car accident on the highway - you don't want to be one of those people who looks, but you can't help yourself. The gore in this case is excess.

Just in case you haven't caught the show, they follow these guys/girls turning 16 and the preparations for their elaborate parties and then the gathering itself. These parties involve rock stars and party planners and more time, energy and money than most over-the-top weddings.

All these parties seem to culminate in the 16 year old getting a car - and it's not the Ford Granada passed on from Aunt Mertie that you were thrilled to have - these are very high end vehicles that most hope to drive at some point in their lives, not necessarily to own.

Today's episode was different - there was no car, or at least I didn't see that part - her parents are sending her to school in France. She seemed thrilled to be leaving these 800 "friends" who were close enough to be invited to her party.

I've seen this show, at least parts of it, maybe ten times. I haven't yet seen one where the 16 year old to be is not at some point talking to mommy or daddy about how everything is going to be ruined if the center pieces aren't right or the rock star doesn't show up or the dress isn't pink. Nor have I seen one that at some point they don't say "daddy/mommy gets me everything I want."

Parents - what in the hell is wrong with you? Getting your child everything they want is OK as long as what they want is reasonable. A $500,000 party for their 16 year old birthday is not reasonable. A $50,000 party is not reasonable. A $5,000 party is reasonable only if you are a multi-millionaire. Grow some balls and say "no."

When I think about the good could be done with that money, it's staggering. Maybe some life training for your child would be a good way to spend some of it. You're definitely headed for some therapy bills so you might want to put some aside.

I'm all for having a good time, but if it takes a half million for your little darling to have a good time at only 16, she hasn't been raised right. You've got two years to fix that before she's officially an adult. Get started. You have f'ed up big time as a parent - try to minimize the damage.

Yeah, I know, I don't have kids - yadda, yadda, yadda. That makes me all the better of an outside observer. I'm not colored by that feeling of how it is when they beg. I can just see the long term effect of this "anything goes" mentality.

This is ridiculous. And, while I can understand the entertainment value of a show devoted to the ridiculous - it's a standard - unfortunately they seem to have an endless supply of these extravaganzas to feature.

Quote of the Day

"Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are."

Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve
(French literary Historian and Critic, 1804-1869)

Blue Skies and Thin Ice

I'm spending my Friday night writing grants. Yes, I know, I lead an exciting life. But, I'm working tonight because I took some time this afternoon to enjoy the sunshine and warm weather. It got up into the 50s and I didn't want to miss out.




Greg and I went to Carey Park to feed the ducks and geese, and then out to Dillon Nature Center to walk around and be in the sun.

I was amazed at the number of geese at Dillon Nature Center. The pond was frozen over and they were all sitting there. We must be on a migratory route.




Dillon Nature Center is home to many, many birds. We noticed a number of nests.

We also spotted a cicada's leavings on a tree trunk and lots of unusual trees. It is a research facility and quite well respected. There are tons of varieties out there so it's always worth a walk around.

We cut the walk short today because my Croc shoes were getting full of ice and snow and that was uncomfortable. I thought - hey - plastic shoes - good for wet weather. Not so much in this case.

There were the usual guys out fishing, including this one who was standing on the frozen pond.




This was despite the sign that said not to get on the ice. The sign he had to walk by to get to the fishing dock. Don't you love how we humans are so confident?

Also, see those rough places in front of him and all around him? Some of those are holes in the ice. Yes, holes.

And see what happens when there are holes in the ice? Thin Ice. Yes, cracks. Big cracks.

I believe all of this relates to the sign to not get on the ice.

There is another small pond that is more shallow that you were allowed to ice skate on - at your own risk.

It was so nice to be outside and in the sun. Teresa and I had lunch today and we were talking about how we all need to go outside more.

We were even greeted with beautiful blue skies and a moon rise. How can you beat that?

Art of Gracious Living #49 Podcast

Buddhists believe in reincarnation, and that being born as a human is a rare and precious thing to be appreciated.

Regardless of the religious aspect of this teaching, it's important to appreciate what we can do as humans and to not take our lives for granted.

The blubrry player will open in another window and allow you to choose which episode you want to hear. The most recent will come up automatically.

State of the Union

CNN has encouraged people to write their own State of the Union addresses. This is mine. I encourage you to write your own. It's good to crystalize how you think things are going.

************

The State of our Union is troubled.

We are a nation at war, with a president who wants to escalate this doomed endeavor. There is no good solution, and there is not going to be. We must remove ourselves from what is a civil matter. This was never about terrorism and it was never our place to be there. We must leave.

We are a nation in debt. Just six years ago, we were a prosperous nation at peace. We now owe more than 8 trillion dollars. Your personal share of that is about $30,000. So is your child's and your spouse's, so your household's responsibility may well be more than you make in a year.

We are a nation in decline. We have children living in poverty. We have schools that teach only based on test scores. We have thousands of citizens who have no health insurance and no access to care. We have prisons that are overflowing, many with convictions that can be traced back to poverty. We have elderly who can't afford their medication and their food. This is a disgrace.

We are a nation contributing to the decline of our planet at a tremendous rate. We have been in an "energy crisis" for more than 30 years and have done very little to address it. We have breached the understood contract we have with our military by asking them to fight for unjust causes, namely so we can have cheap gasoline.

We are a nation of apathy. The citizens of this country must elect people who will lead us into an honorable existence - without war, without poverty, without debt. When you do not vote, or vote for leaders who have no compassion, you get a country that has no compassion. We are living in a country that allows its citizens to die in the streets after a national disaster. We know it's true. We all saw it. Those horrible images remind us of what we have wrought with our votes and our lack of them. If you do not vote, you are voting for "the winner," whoever that may be. You are not absolved of your responsibility. In fact, you must take more responsibility because you could have made a difference and chose not to.

Our nation has always been one of hope and with the recent changes in congress I believe we have turned a corner from despair and are looking to a brighter future. The state of our union is troubled, but we can change it with our votes and our involvement. We must insist that our nation do better for its people and the world.

Babies and Birds

This evening I went to go see Diana's new grandson, Drew Emerson. He was born Sunday morning at 2:08. Diana called me about 15 minutes later to tell me the news. I am so excited for Taylor, Tom and big sister, Lily - not to mention grandma Diana. Drew was 7 lbs. 3 oz. and 19 1/2 inches long.

I called Sunday afternoon to find out what his name was. The middle name, Emerson, is after Ralph Waldo Emerson. They decided that was a better choice than Ralph or Waldo. I think Drew Waldo does have a certain ring to it, but I've always heard you should name your child something you want to be screaming for the next couple of decades. As in, "Drew Emerson, you get in here this minute..."

I was dying to go see him, but figured there would be a ton of people at the hospital. Come to find out, there was NO ONE there all afternoon. I could have been holding that baby for hours!!! I do so love little tiny babies. Oh well. But, I got to hold him for a bit this evening - fun, fun, fun.

This day didn't go the way I had planned it. What is it they say about the best laid plans? Yadda, yadda, yadda. But, it was a good day - just not the day I had planned.

Trish and I had planned to have lunch today, and then it was going to be Trish, Teresa and I. But, Susan called and was just passing through town and wanted to know about lunch. Well, I don't get to see Susan very often so let Trish and Teresa lunch together and I went to see Susan. Hopefully I'll get to see both Trish and Teresa yet this week.

It was nice to see Susan. I sure miss her being in town. But she likes her life in Valley Falls, so you can't argue with happiness.

I had a long list of MHA things to do today and got through at least part of it. Shortly after work, I met Greg at Carey Park where he was shooting some Lope pix. Blogging The Lope requires constant attention.




Ace Jackalope is decked out here in his red suit, and feeding the ducks and geese bits of bread. Greg, of course, has the job of capturing it all.

We stayed until the setting sun told us it was about to get very chilly out in the snow.

Looking Back

"It could last six days, six weeks. I doubt six months." Rumsfeld talking about the war in Feb. of 2003.

How to Meditate Podcast

Art of Gracious Living #58
Happiness Series - Part 3 of 4 - Meditation

Science has proven that meditation will increase your happiness level. Today's podcast is about various meditation techniques and ways you can incorporate it into your daily life.

This is the third of a four part series.

The blubrry player will open in another window and allow you to choose which episode you want to hear. The most recent will come up automatically.

The Lope is Famous!
The Lope is getting more famous by the day!

http://www.cnn.com/exchange/blogs/notebook/

If Everyone Cared by Nickelback

Lately I've been really impressed with Nickelback's "If Everyone Cared." Maybe it's because I want to live in that fantasy world, and maybe it's because I love the fact that younger people appreciate this sentiment.

I came of age in the early 80s. It was a horribly embarrassing time as far as music goes - hair bands and Madonna - long before she became anything resembling socially responsible. We all have to grow.

I'm encouraged that a song about peace and caring can rise on the charts.

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We�d see the day when nobody died

What a simple message. I hope the upcoming generation "gets it" because my generation certainly didn't. Some of us did, but enough of us didn't that we're at war again. Maybe "getting it" on a large scale requires growing up in a time of war. How unfortunate.

I was too young when Vietnam ended to really comprehend politics and by the time the first Gulf War started I was plenty old enough to know it was about oil and too young to understand how to do much about it. I guess age doesn't matter because I couldn't figure out how to stop "oil war #2" either.

Ultimately, enough people in any generation have to "get it" to elect people who won't start wars. We're not there yet. Maybe the next generation will be.

I don't meet many 20 somethings who are gung ho on war. Maybe when you're the age group dying you feel a little differently about it. I know there are some, but they seem to be in fewer numbers.

At some point we're not going to have enough people to fight wars without a draft. Frankly, I'm eager for that day. If we had a draft, and *anyone's* kid could end up being killed in Iraq (or fill in country of your choice), we'd be out of the war business in the blink of an eye. There wouldn't be any discussion about the best way to get out of Iraq, we'd just be out. And we'd be a lot less cavalier about starting more wars.

Back to the song... If you haven't seen the video, it's well worth catching it. I'm sure you can find it online.

Nickelback lyrics

If Everyone Cared

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died
And I'm singing

Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We�ll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen I'm alive
Singing Amen I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died

We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

Broken

Greg and I had a long talk tonight about people who are "broken." We both know some of them, although few who are up close and personal in either of our lives.

Greg is more accepting of such things than I am. Maybe because Greg is a stronger person. I know I cannot have that influence in my life. I am barely holding my own broken self together most days, I can't take any responsibility for anyone else. And I can't risk any unravelling.

While we were talking I looked down at my middle finger on my right hand. Although it's not something most would notice, it is crooked, and it's a continual reminder to me of how broken I am.

I fell when I was in 5th grade and broke my right wrist. Unfortunately, I also dislocated a number of the bones in my fingers. In one of those amazing by-the-grace-of-God coincidences, the ER doctor happened to be a specialist in setting bones. They worked for some hours to get all my finger bones back in the right places, and they did an amazing job, although they don't all bend and line up perfectly.

The family doctor, where we'd gone first, had told us my hand might never grow again. At that point I started to wail. I was young, but I knew that would be a bad thing. My mother told me later that while standing behind me the doctor mouthed, "it won't."

So, during that 45 minute drive to the hospital my parents were assuming my hand would never grow again. It must have seemed incredibly tragic to them, to have their child hurt and perhaps permanently damaged. I think one of the things that has always struck me about that trip is that it was the only time my father was ever involved in my medical care.

But, in one of the many ways in which I've always led a charmed life, my hand did grow to an adult size. My slightly twisted middle finger - the tip leans to the right and the lower half to the left while the middle knuckle is enlarged, and my fourth finger that overlaps that one slightly at the tip - remind me of being broken. Some kinds of broken are things you can see and some are things that are invisible. At least we try to keep them invisible.

When I catch one of those talk shows were the seeming dregs of humanity air their dirty laundry, all I can think about is the ways in which those people are broken. They don't live their lives that way because it's what they want, it's because it's the only way they know. They are broken. They are broken in ways we don't have a clue how to fix.

The really frightening part of it is that it's not just TV. We walk amongst people every day who are broken. We may not notice. And if we do we may not do anything more than note it and move on. What can we do, after all? And, ultimately, we're afraid it's catching. Most of us have spent the last few decades patching our own broken selves together and some of those patches are holding better than others and we're not risking anything tearing them off.

People get broken in lots of ways, but much of it happens in childhood and it's with us always. You never do get "past your raisin'." I think it's one reason I never wanted to be a parent. It scared me to death to think I had to try and get another human through the trauma filled time of childhood and adolescence - and that's before you even get to the daily pressures of being an adult.

Kids are physically knocked around by adults, and their fragile egos are damaged with words and actions - from adults and peers. They are sexually abused and emotionally abused. They are left out and left alone and left behind. And we chalk it all up to "growing up" and "kids will be kids" and "kids are resilient." We give a lot of lip service to protecting our children, but we do very little real about it. Of course parents try, but some things are beyond our control. Lots of things.

When I see a woman who's hopping from one bed to another I know it's not because she loves sex so much. It's because sex is her currency. When I see a young girl who wants desperately to have a baby I know it's because she wants to know what love feels like. She thinks that maternal instinct will kick in and carry her through and she's finally finding the love she's been longing for her entire life.

When I see people who thrive on crisis I know it's because it's what they know or it's because they know it will make someone rush in to "save them" and they want to feel worthy of being saved. We've all been there and done that. Some of us do it occasionally in weak moments, and some of us do it because we truly have troubles over which we have no control, and some of us make it a lifestyle.

I have always known how fragile a "stable" life is. We all work hard to build them and don't acknowledge how little we really have to do with it. All around us others have lives that aren't so stable, because they had different parents, or different friends or different thoughts.

One crisis leads to another and lives spiral out of control. People grow up seeing no way to lead any other kind of life. People make bad, or mediocre, choices because they don't even understand there are other ones from which to choose. People want to be loved and don't know how to be loveable. People have accidents, they have illnesses, they have misfortunes.

We're all walking around broken. It's just a question of if they're things we can see, like long ago fused finger bones that aren't quite right, or things we keep hidden. We can't keep the symptoms hidden, however, and they manifest in dozens of different ways. We make bad choices in men, in colleges and in jobs. We don't know how to negotiate the politics of the workplace, or the delicacy of a relationship.

But, most of us learn to function. We figure out how to work around our broken parts. Even if we can't heal them, we apply a permanent ace bandage and only fall apart when it's necessary to change it. We do whatever is necessary to keep ourselves together. And we keep quiet about it.

A few years ago, very late at night after a bottle of wine, lying in our Paris hotel room, my friend Matthew turned to me and said, "You know, you seem to be keeping a lot of things 'under control' all the time." It was one of those things people only notice when you're far from home and away from what's familiar, or maybe it's only when you've had a bottle of wine. Or maybe it's because you only share your broken parts with someone you'd also share a Parisian hotel room with.

Whatever the reason, it's always frightening to know that others can spot your broken parts. You just hope they're impressed by how well you've patched them up instead of horrified by what they've made you do. I didn't ask Matthew which category mine fell into.

Roys on a Snowy Day

Yes, it's true, after getting groceries I met Greg at Roy's Barbecue. He snapped a pic of me making my way in through the snow. We're either devoted or stupid. It was good, as always.

Clueless Weather Forecasters

A snow plow is a welcome sight in Hutchinson today. We are getting snow - big, wet, fluffy snow. It's actually quite pretty.

Originally it was going to be at 6 p.m. today that it started. Then it was the afternoon. Last night at 10 p.m. on the news it was going to be at noon today. Well, sometime between 7 and 8 a.m. it started pouring out of the sky. It has not slowed all day.




At first we were getting 2-4 inches, then it was 4-6, then 6-8, now it's 8-12 inches.

I wish they would either learn to actually forecast the weather or stop pretending they know how. My plan was to go out this morning and grocery shop. I did, but my footsies got very wet because the snow was going over the top of my shoes. You know, that snow that wasn't starting until noon. Yeah, that snow.




Greg has arrived back in Hutchinson and I'm so very glad he's safe and sound. He, believing the forecast, left this morning, only to have to drive in snow and ice a large part of the way.

As I said to Mark one time. Weather forecasters have viper and doppler and 3d radar. They only thing they don't have is a clue.

I'm settling in for a weekend of relaxing at home. Thankfully I have everything I need to be comfy, as long as the power holds out.

Hillary is In

Hillary Clinton has made it official - she's in the race for President. I was hoping for a Hillary-Barack ticket - maybe it can still happen.

She is an early favorite for the nomination, with a substantial lead over the others who have announced their intentions. She, of course, is also an exceptional fundraiser, which is an essential.

She is favored by 49% of democratic women and 29% of men. I think women are ready for a woman in the white house. Women make less war - it's a huge incentive right now.

Not surprisingly, the people who make babies are less eager to kill them.

An Inconvenient Truth